After a break up it is very common to feel that your ex boyfriend does not like you anymore, especially if he was the one that broke up with you. This is a normal thing to worry about and every situation is different. He may have told you that he had fallen out of love with you, but this does not mean that he still doesn’t like you and respect you as a person.
Common Mistakes That Women Make
Most women take the wrong approach when they are trying to find out if he still likes them. They will usually end up asking their friends or prying for clues. This will ultimately make them look foolish and they can be very easily found out. Just think about how this looks to your ex. Never lose your self respect or he will have a negative view of you.
Another common thing that women do is to check their ex boyfriend’s facebook wall constantly, reading into every comment or post he makes. They are searching for any sort of clue at all and trying to over analyse the situation to give themselves hope. This will end up driving you crazy and confusing you even more.
In fact this is the worst thing that you could be doing if you want to find out if your ex boyfriend still likes you. The fact is that he is highly unlikely to post anything honest on there after the break up as the whole world is looking. He will be overcompensating and trying to suppress any residual feelings that he still has for you by being overly confident. He will be trying hard to protect his image and his male pride by pretending that everything is fine to the outside world and to you. He will also be trying to convince himself of this fact.
He Still Has Strong Bonds To You
When you have had a relationship with someone there are connections that are very difficult to break. The attachments that are formed are very strong and this is why you are feeling so low at the moment. Remember that it is not just you who is experiencing these feelings of loss. He will be too. Even if he has dumped you he will miss having you in his life and be wondering what you are doing. There will be a void within him too and this is what makes it possible for couples to get back together when they realise that they cannot live without each other.
With that being said, it would be useful to take a look at some of the signs that would indicate that your ex boyfriend misses you and is pining over you. You will know better where you stand with your future with him if you learn to examine the way that he talks, treats you or behaves after the break up. It is still possible to know how they feel if you have very little contact with them, it is all about learning to decipher the male psyche and read between the lines.
Sign 1 – He Asks To Remain Friends With You After The Break Up
You may think that this is a good compromise after you have broken up because you still get to keep him in your life at some level. You probably think that you can eventually get him back this way by showing him what he is missing. This is definitely not that case though. If you have already agreed to being friends with your ex boyfriend you should seriously reconsider. When you agree to remain friends it will actually drastically reduce your chances of getting him back. In fact he will be much less likely to want a serious relationship with you again because you have both slipped into a new friend zone and he will be comfortable with that.
The good news is that when your ex boyfriend wants to stay friends it shows that he is not over you. He secretly wants to keep a close eye on you and make sure that you don’t move on too quickly and start seeing someone else and forget about him. On the other hand, he still wants to be able to play the field and see if there is anyone else out there that he might prefer. This sounds incredibly callous and it is. It doesn’t mean that he is intentionally trying to hurt you though, it is just human nature to put your own needs first.
If he is the one who dumped you he innately knows that you are still hung up on him and will agree to a friendship out of desperation. He thinks that this is the perfect scenario for him as you are still there as a back up plan should he get lonely. Do not allow this to happen to you because you know that you deserve better than this. You do not want to be anyone’s second choice as this is no basis for a healthy relationship. He has to see that you are the best and only girl for him and he will not be able to do that when you are ‘friends’ with him.
It is not all doom and gloom though. It shows that he still has feelings for you and is trying to figure out if he made the right decision to break up with you. If those feelings weren’t there at all he wouldn’t care less about talking to you or having any kind of contact with you. Look out for him asking to remain friends with you and make the right decision.
Sign 2 – He Is Desperate To Tell You About His Single Life
Watch out for when he starts talking a lot about his private or single life. He will be trying to test the waters to see if you open up and tell him anything about what you are doing. He wants to know if you have moved on or are interested in another guy. He will not want you to move on too quickly after the break up as it will dent his ego. After all, if he was the one that broke up with you he will feel that he is the one that should have moved on first.
Your ex boyfriend will be trying to drop hints here. When he doesn’t want you to move on and forget about him he will tell you that they haven’t moved on either. He is subtlety trying to tell you that he hasn’t started dating yet, so you shouldn’t be either. It is another way for him to feel secure in the fact that he could get you back whenever he wants because he knows that you are waiting around for him.
Look out for obvious signs that he is going out of his way to convey that he is still single. This could be through direct contact with you, facebook single status or telling your friends and family that he is not dating anyone. This is a strong sign that he is still not over you and is not ready to move on himself. The last thing he wants is for you to be dating again, so he will try to make you wait around for him and this is the best way for him to achieve this.
Sign 3 – He Stays In Contact With You
Ok, so this could be any kind of contact. Texting, facebook messages, emails, instant messages or phone calls are very good indicators that he is not taking the break up as well as you thought. When he has nothing to say, but is just asking how you are, or saying hello, he is trying to make a connection with you and misses you. Look out for this sign as it is the biggest indication that he misses you.
No matter what he says, anyone who has completely moved on from you and the relationship does not still try to get in touch with you. If he is trying to maintain the lines of communication then he still has got unresolved issues about the break up and is probably very confused. He is probably keeping tabs on you to see how you feel first so that he knows how to progress. It has also got a lot to do with security. He feels secure having you around and doesn’t want to let go of that just yet.
Also look out for what he says to you when he does get in touch. Is he flirting with you and trying to see if you will reciprocate? This is a vital clue that you must pay attention to as he will be trying to ascertain how you feel about him too. He will be pushing the boundaries to see if you are open to getting back together without explicitly asking you. He might let slip certain romantic pet names that he had for you too. This shows that his mind in still in the romantic zone and that he still has a great deal of affection for you.
Sign 4 – He Bumps Into You A Lot
If you suddenly notice that your ex boyfriend is bumping into you ‘accidentally’ then you are onto a winner here. He will be trying to see you or make up excuses to talk to you, and this would be a perfect opportunity. Look out for him turning up at your work or places that you used to go a lot. This is no coincidence! Also watch out for the way that he reacts when he sees you. He will be trying to act surprised but it will be obvious that he expected to see you all along. If he knows what time you are going to be somewhere he would avoid being anywhere near there wouldn’t he?
Common sense should tell you that his intentions were to see you and he is desperate to see how you are and have any type of communication with you. He could also be in places that you used to frequent because he is reminiscing about the good times that you shared together. If he cannot have any contact with you, going to these places and thinking about past memories is the only connection he has to your relationship.
Sign 5 – He Asks Friends About You
Sometimes guys are too embarrassed to contact you directly and decide to enquire about your well being through friends. It is easier for them as they do not have to deal with you directly. If your friends say that he has been asking after you then it is a sure sign that he is missing you. Key signs that he is interested in you and what you are doing are also things to watch for. Is he asking your friends what you are up to or if you are spending your new free time with them? If he wasn’t at all interested in you as girlfriend material why would he bother finding out what you are up to?
Look out for him trying to get close to one or any of your friends. He might try to strike up a kind of a friendship with them so he can casually keep an eye on what you are up to in conversation. It is also another way of him trying to maintain some part in your life. If he is friends with your friend then he has some kind of tenuous link to you and will find out what you are up to much more easily.
Sign 6 – He Looks At You
If you cannot avoid your ex boyfriend and you still have to see him a lot, look out for him taking sneaky or lingering looks at you. Trust your own intuition here, if you feel like his eyes are burning into you, they probably are. He misses you.
These are just a few of the signs ex boyfriend misses you after a break up, there are so many more subtle things that you have to look out for. See our website for more advice on how to spot the signs, how to get him to miss you and tips on how to get your ex boyfriend back again!
What If He Isn’t Showing Any Of These Signs?
Just because you can’t see any signs it doesn’t mean that he has lost interest in you. He could be trying very hard to hide the way that he feels about you because he is trying to convince himself that he is ok and desperate to move on. He also has a lot of pride at stake here, if he is the one who broke up with you he will be going through a lot of frustration and confusion and be worried that he made a mistake. He will not want to appear wrong or weak, so he tries desperately to show the outside world that he made the right decision.
Another reason why you might not be able to see the signs is because you do not know what to look for how how to use emotional triggers to make him react in a way that shows his true feelings. There are certain things that you can do and say that will make him tell you how he really feels and catch him off guard. These psychological triggers are incredibly effective in knowing where you stand and how to handle winning him back. The system below shows you exactly what you need to do and say to find out how he really feels.
How To Get Him Back – Step By Step
If you prefer to use text messages to get your ex back then this is the system for you. Developed and researched by relationship expert, Michael Fiore, it will teach you how to use text messages to ignite your ex boyfriend’s interest you and make him desire you again. This is even effective when he is completely ignoring you!
Learn what the best text messages to send are in different break up scenarios and what mistakes to avoid at all costs. Watch the free video where he will give you some surprising advice on winning back his attention and love here: Text Your Ex Back Video
Need More Help?
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My boyfriend broke up with me back in February 2010 and I was devastated. I thought that he was actually going to propose when he told me that we had to talk, so you can imagine the shock I had when he said that he didn’t see us going anywhere. As we had been talking about marriage and settling down for months, it didn’t make any sense.
Like a lot of other girls I was angry at him and demanded answers, but he couldn’t give me any and this hurt even more because I felt that he was making lame excuses to get rid of me. Three years together and he was treating me like this. I didn’t recognise him as the person I loved, it was like he had changed overnight.
I went into denial at the start and started calling him and chasing after him as if nothing had happened. I thought that I could make him see that he had made a huge mistake and he would take me back. This didn’t happen, he only became more and more distant and started ignoring me altogether. I was in such a mess and didn’t know where to turn.
My friends and family said that he would see sense eventually and that I should just try and get on with things in the meantime. Others told me to move on and find someone else. As if it was that easy, I had invested so much in him and we had planned a future together, I couldn’t just turn my feelings off like that.
This is when I started to look for advice online. I thought that there must be someone that had gone through the same kind of thing as me and could maybe give me some pointers. There were so many women in my position that I kind of felt a bit better about what had happened to me. Knowing that I was not on my own made me think that there was hope.
After a few days digging around and reading everything that I could get my hands on, I noticed that a lot of girls were mentioning the same guide: Ex Factor System. They were all talking about what this guide helped them do and how it actually got them results with their ex boyfriends. I was skeptical that some guide could get it right when I obviously couldn’t. I thought that there was nothing to lose at this stage though as everything I had done up until that point had gotten me nowhere, so I downloaded the entire system and started reading through it.
I soon realised that I was doing everything wrong and suddenly understood why Steven was not interested. It taught me a lot about the male psyche and why you have to act in a certain way if you want to get your ex boyfriend back. I still thought that it was too late for me though as I had made all of the mistakes that the system warned me against, and it was now 5 months after the break up.
I decided to put into practice just a couple of the techniques that Matt Huston recommended to see if they had any impact on Steven. Nothing much happened at first and I started getting down-hearted again, feeling like I had wasted even more time. After a few days though he started to take much more of an interest in me. Instead of me always texting him, he started to ask me how I was and began taking an interest in my life again. It was beginning to feel like it had been when we first started going out, him chasing me and wanting to know more.
The techniques that I learned do require a lot of willpower and you have to stick to them to see results, but it was incredible to see how fast and how well he responded to them. After a while he wanted to meet up with me again, just a casual coffee. But he was more like the Steven I knew before and there was no coldness there anymore. I was patient and let him do the chasing as I wanted him to be sure that he wanted this as much as me. There was no way I wanted to force him into anything as I learned that it would backfire later on down the road.
Needless to say, after a couple of meetings, Steven eventually admitted that he missed me and that he had made a mistake. We promised to take it slow and not rush back into things, but 3 months later we are now back together and planning our future again! I now understand him so much better and know when to give him his space. It is a weird thing to say, but I think that our relationship is much better than it was before.
I just wanted to let other girls out there know that there is still hope for you even if you have made so many mistakes with your ex boyfriend. I did and with the help of Ex Factor System, I managed to reverse this completely.