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How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Want You Back

How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Want You Back

Make Him Desire You Again With Proven Techniques

The problem is that most women focus on the wrong things when they are trying to get their ex boyfriends back – what they want. This is probably the worst thing that you can do because it fails to take into account what he wants or male psychology.  This is why a lot of women find themselves banging their heads up against a brick wall after they have been dumped. When you concentrate on what you think will make him want you again, you will be going in the wrong direction. This is because men and women think very differently in terms of relationships and attraction. 

Instead, you will start seeing much more positive results when you begin to look at things from his perspective. Once you tap into male psychology you will immediately see what you have been doing wrong up until now and subsequently plan your actions to be more effective in the future.

We are going to discuss what kind of things that you should definitely not be doing if you want him to desire you again and then we will take a look at some proven techniques that will make him start to see you in a positive light again and ignite his passion for you. So let’s get started. 

How Your Boyfriend Sees You After The Break Up

It is not easy to hear that your ex boyfriend probably does not want to see or talk to you after the break up. You must accept this though, especially if he is the one that broke up with you. The last thing that he will want is to have you contacting him and asking what went wrong or trying to get him to change his mind. I’m afraid that it just doesn’t work like this.  When you are constantly trying to bump into him, making excuses to contact him or deliberately stalking him, you are doing yourself no favours at all and it is only pushing him further and further away from you. Think about it for a minute. Just try to look at things through his eyes. This is what most women fail to do as all of their energy is focused on getting back together. They fail to see the bigger picture and the impact that their actions could have on their chances of making him want you back.

Acting Emotional Is A Big No No 

You have every right to be miserable and an emotional wreck after you have been dumped, it wouldn’t be natural if you weren’t. That is why you have to take some personal time to grieve for the end of your relationship before you act rashly or do things that you will later regret.

The last thing that you want to do is allow him to see you cry or look depressed in front of him. The truth is that he will only see you as pathetic and unattractive. This is the opposite of what you are trying to achieve. Of course it will mean that you have to do some oscar-winning acting performances, but it is for your own good. Don’t lay it on too thickly though as it will become obvious to him that you are trying to prove a point to him.

Take A Step Back 

Always try to take a step back and ask yourself if what you are doing is coming across as desperate or needy. This is a good model to go by but it does require some restraint on your part. You will have to fight back your urges to contact him or bring up the break up. Try to get your emotions under control when you are around him and have some self respect, when he sees that you are taking the break up well he will have much more admiration for you. You must avoid behaviour that makes you look unstable, bitter or spiteful. This means that you should not interrogate him about the break up, just accept it and walk away calmly. The same goes for what you say to your ex boyfriend post break up. If you start to act angrily towards him and lash out this will make him see you in a very negative light. Remember that he will be sensitive too after your break up and everything that you say could be used against you at a later date.

Realise Your Own Self Worth First

When you try to sell yourself back to your ex boyfriend it will not only ruin your own self esteem, but it will make him devalue you as a person. Men work very differently to women as they like to be the ones that chase and not the other way round. When you are chasing after him and begging him for another chance, you are emasculating him and making yourself look cheap in his eyes. If you are forcing something on him that he doesn’t want it will only backfire on you in the future. Until he desires you again there is nothing that you can do or say that will have any impact on him right now. So concentrate your efforts in making him attracted to you again instead. This will be much more effective.

This may sound overly harsh, but it is the way he will see you if you don’t learn to value yourself. You know that you are worth more than this. It can’t be healthy trying to convince someone that they should be with you, the other person has to want it too. This is what you want to accomplish – making him want you all by himself and with no obvious intervention on your part.

Men Do Not Want To Be Forced Or Guilt-Tripped Into Getting Back Together

Men like to make their own decisions. Remember that. When you force him into something he will only clam up and become distant. The last thing that you want to do is force him into getting back together with you out of guilt. This will spell disaster for your future together, make him feel suffocated and resent you. Ultimately he will leave you again because he is not happy. 

You have to have a different approach that actually works and makes him feel that he was not forced or cajoled into it. This is crucial if you want him to want you again because it all has to come from him. You can help him along this path in a subtle way though, and this is what we are going to discuss next – how to make him want you back

How To Make Him Want You Again

To make your ex boyfriend want you again, you have to be the girl that he first fell in love with. Think about that for a moment. Technically you still are the same girl, but something changed along the way to make him forget this or start to see you differently. Try to pinpoint what that is and set it right. It may seem like a simple solution to getting him back again – be like the girl he fell in love with. You have to understand though that this is going to be difficult to do because of your current emotional state.

When you get dumped it is completely normal for your mind to go into overdrive with paranoia about the real reasons he broke up with you. Your head might be spinning with all of the things that he said in the last days and weeks, trying to decipher his actions for clues. You will not be thinking straight at this time and as a consequence, everything that you say or do will be marked by emotion that you will later regret. When you are focused on your past relationship and wasting all of your energy on trying to get him back, you are forgetting one crucial thing – he doesn’t want you. Not at this specific time anyway, and you have to accept that no matter how cruel it seems.

Instead you should be spending your time constructively. This will involve trying to clear your mind of negative thoughts and beginning to see things rationally again. When you are able to control your emotions you will be able to see things differently and start to formulate a plan to win back his affections and make him regret breaking up with you. Getting the timing right with this is crucial. You have to give yourself time to heal and accept your current situation. When you act rashly and preemptively, you will go back to square one. So how do you know that you are ready to get him back? Well, your head should be a lot clearer, you should look at things more positively and not be in floods of tears. Of course you will still be feeling vulnerable, but you will notice a renewed sense of purpose and a determination to make him see you as attractive again. That is when you know the time is right.

Recreating The Magic – Make Him Fall For You Again

When you first started dating there was likely a lot of magic and passion between you. This is a fantastic time and something that is fondly remembered by all couples.  Sometimes this magic fades away in a relationship, especially if you have both been together for a long time. This is the reason for a lot of break ups, one or other partner miss the initial spark that you had in the beginning and think that there is something missing when it is not there anymore. 

There is some good news in this though. Once you understand how to get this spark back you can make him fall in love with you all over again. If you can recreate the scenario of when you first met, you will be able to bring back everything that he felt was missing when he broke up with you. Get his attention back and he will be more willing to give it another try.

So How Do You Do This?

The best strategy that women use to get the passion and attraction back is distance. That may sound extremely counter-intuitive to you right now, after all, having nothing to do with him might make him forget you even exist right? Nothing could be further from the truth actually. If you have ever heard of the saying ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’, you will realise the effectiveness of distancing yourself from your ex boyfriend. This is what you have to do initially if you want to stand any chance of him wanting you again. You can then use this no contact phase to plan how to make him fall in love with you again. It is the optimum time to focus on improving your situation and concentrate upon yourself. Follow these simple steps below to make your ex boyfriend start seeing you in a different way. When you regain his respect and admiration this will in turn reignite his attraction for you.  These four things will make him reconsider his decision to break up with you if you master them correctly. The more effort you put into these areas, the better your chances are, so let’s get going.

Step 1 – Confidence Is Key

If you asked most guys what they find most attractive about a woman, 9 times out of 10, confidence will always come up. Men like women who have a strong sense of their own self worth and know their own minds. This is a highly attractive quality to have and one that naturally draws men in because it intrigues them.  Compare this to nervous women who are constantly asking for reassurance and are easily manipulated. Men do not respect these kinds of women and oftentimes they end up attracting men that are poisonous for them as they can see this weakness and want to exploit it.

If you are unsure of yourself it will also make him unsure of you and turn him off. Of course there is a fine line between being confident and arrogant. Remember that arrogance is hugely unattractive and can make a guy unwilling to approach you. So do not look down your nose at him and put on airs and graces, he will run a mile in the opposite direction. If you manage to pull off these air of confidence he will immediately think that you are not needy and that he has lost something valuable.

Confident is probably the last thing that you feel right now, especially if he broke up with you. In fact it may be at rock bottom. You must dust yourself down though and not be inhibited by the nagging feeling in the back of your head that you are not good enough. Never allow yourself to lose your self belief a this will have knock on affects in other areas. Getting dumped is a big part of life and it can actually make you come to realise what you have been doing wrong, correct it, and subsequently make your new relationship so much better than the last.

Step 2 – Be Independent

This is another key attribute that men find highly attractive in a woman. You may think that you are quite an independent person, but look a little deeper. How does your behaviour look to your ex boyfriend? When it comes to relationships women can automatically take a very subservient role and vy for attention.  Whilst this may be deemed ‘cute’ by some men, how does it make them view you long term? No man will see a future with a woman who is needy and high maintenance, they just won’t put up with it for a prolonged period of time. You will also lose your own self respect if you behave like this. Unfortunately most women do not even realise that they are doing anything wrong here and this is when break ups begin.

Reassess whether you were giving him his own space and whether you could function normally without him. If you were constantly asking him to do things with you or give up his personal time to please you, truth is you are not that independent after all. When you are independent you are the opposite of needy. You will be able to function by yourself and still have a good time. Such women do not rely on men to make them feel happy or fulfill their every need. This is what men look for in a girl.

After the break up you must be independent, or at least appear that you are. Your ex boyfriend will be monitoring how you are handling the break up and if he sees that you are out there getting on with your life he will be much more attracted to you. If, on the other hand, you are obviously lost without him, pining in a depressive state, he will feel sorry for you and try to avoid you as it would be awkward. This is not the position that you want to be in. When you become your own person and show him that you are just fine without him, he will immediately think twice about the break up. He will be much more likely to contact you and start chasing you from this point on.

Step 3 – Let Him See You Having Fun

Your ex boyfriend will be expecting you to stay in and bemoan the loss of him. The last thing that he will be expecting you to do is to go out and have fun with your friends and get on with your life. So this is what you should do!

Do not give him the satisfaction of knowing that you are still pining for him. This only gives him the upper hand and boots his ego. When he thinks that he can get you back any time he wants he will not be forced into any action. 

Instead, when he sees that there may be a possibility that you are moving on without him, it will kick him into chasing after you to get you back. This is his greatest fear – you moving on before him. This also puts you in a great position because it encourages him to make an effort by himself without you cajoling him into it. Your ex boyfriend doesn’t want to entertain the thought of you starting to date again, at least not for a long time after the break up. What he would prefer is that he can get you back if he decides to change his mind. He wants you to be waiting for him in the sidelines. This is selfish, undoubtedly, but he is only thinking of himself right now. 

By doing the exact opposite of what he expects you to do you will be stoking his desire for you as you will appear mysterious and attractive. Therefore you should fill your post break up days with fun things.

Surround yourself with friends and family and get out there and do the things that you are passionate about. When your ex  boyfriend sees this change in you he will remember the old you, the girl he fell in love with. When he sees that you can be happy without him it will stir feelings of jealousy in him. This is because he liked to imagine that he was the main reason for your happiness during your relationship. It hurts him to realise that this isn’t actually the case and that you are responsible for your own happiness. This might sound strange to you, but this is how he will be feeling, even when he was the one who broke up with you.

Step 4 – Be Happy (It Unnerves Him)

Probably the best way to make your ex boyfriend want you back is to exude happiness. The happier that you appear to be, the more interested your ex boyfriend will be to know what is causing it. As you may already know, happiness is an incredibly attractive trait and people are drawn to those who make them feel good about themselves. The same goes for your ex boyfriend. He will want to be surrounded by a girl who makes him happy and creates a fun environment. When you are miserable it will have the opposite affect, he will run in the other direction.  Think about this for a second. It is all down to human behaviour and what men think that they want in a potential mate.

You may have heard of the old saying, ‘the grass is always greener on the other side.’ This is what your ex boyfriend will be thinking when he sees that you are happy. He will want some of what you have and wonder exactly what it is that has brought about this change in you. As humans, we all want what we cannot have, it is a psychological trait. When he suddenly realises that he cannot have you like he thought, his desire for you will increase and he will be compelled to win back your attention. We all value that which is rare, so when you make yourself unavailable and act as if you are happy without him, in turn he will value you more. We are strange creatures.  It is important to realise that your ex boyfriend is probably lonely like you after the break up. There is a huge void in his life that he may not have expected and things may not be as rosy as he anticipated. This is your perfect opportunity to make yourself and your life attractive to him. Make him see what he is missing by reminding him of how special you are. He will then follow suit.

Next Step – Make Him Regret the Breakup and Want You Again

The only way that you are going to get your ex boyfriend to regret the breakup and want you again, is to start getting inside his head and seeing things from his perspective. Self awareness is a huge tool that you have in your arsenal, you just have to know how to use it to your advantage. The things you say and do after a breakup are crucial to how your ex boyfriend sees you. Learn how to turn the tables around and make your ex see you in an attractive, desirable way again with the Ex Factor System. 

This system is specifically designed for women who are trying to get back their ex boyfriends. Brad Browning is a well respected and popular relationship expert and psychologist. He is well versed in relationship problems and why people act the way that they do after a break up. He will talk you through everything from a male perspective, giving you insights into why men break up with women, why they say certain things and what they actually mean by this, what they feel about you after the break up and what will make them crazy about you again.

Browning delivers powerful techniques that you can start implementing on your ex boyfriend today to get a positive reaction from him. You can also start to see a change in the way he views you and his contact will increase once you begin putting these strategies into practice. 

Need More Help?

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38 Responses to “How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Want You Back”

  • Luna says:


    So my ex and I are housemates and he broke up with me 2 weeks ago. Since then i am sleeping on friends’ couches because he didn’t tell his new date he has housemate. I even heard them have sex when i dropped by to pick up some clothes… I simply left. All this caused panic attacks. I left him a nice gift and I will try to stay away while I am looking for a new place. I do want him back but he says it is going pretty well with the new girl so I am not sure I have a chance. I guess I just need to hear that somebody else is in the same situation and if I can get a tip how to deal with it for few weeks I will have to be there (unless he kicks me out)? I am running out of options where to sleep over and hotel for a month is expensive… I have an idea how to behave, I guess I just need to hear little bit of support and strength because I am alone in all of this (like the rest of everybody).

    Thank you.

  • Samantha says:

    I Couldnt afford to lose him.i know he is the one who is meant for me:( a man who loves me alot,a man who never forget to call me everyday.and many qualities from him that i could never ask for more..but sad to say ill lost him..because of one reason.he want me to have a decent job:( ..i know he finds out already that i still go out with guys for money..he said i finally prove it and its not a doubt.i am very sure:(actually he is right..i really love him so much so i was thinking i need to find a decent job which i can be proud of:( not only to prove to him but it also for my self:(
    If a guy who really love i know its very difficult dor him to accept the fact that even have alot of money when i dont even have a job:(
    Please help me.i want him to comebck with me maybe not now because the pain is still fresh but at the right time.
    At this moment i am starting to find a decent job

  • EmNiZ says:

    Thanks for the advise..I had the most worst experience when I broke up with my boyfriend.after reading this it has really given me a lot of encouragement and the best advice on how to deal with my emotions..thank you so much.

    • Charlotte Jane says:

      I’m so glad that it has helped you! Thanks for leaving me a comment, it means a lot. Good luck.

  • Sam says:

    My ex-lover ended our 2-years relationship and he said that it was not a relationship and we only used to have nice time together. He also said he wants to withdraw from this drama. I was so angry and tried to convince him that we were in a relationship and we love each other but he decided to leave and he said in his last message that it will be the last communication between us. The following morning, I sent him a long text message and told him that our relationship was not a casual one and I am sorry that he considered it as drama. I promised him not to contact him and I asked him not to contact me again then I wished him happiness. My question now: it has been one month and a half since his last message. Shall I contact him or not. Will he just magically come back to me after I told him not to contact me? Please help.

  • Phumi says:


    My name is phumi.My Boyfriend broke up with me two months ago.He called me out of the blue and said its over and whats nothing to do with me and changed his numbers. I am deeply hurt and what makes it worse is that days before the break up we were fine and happy. He only started acting distant two days before.and be I tried therapy,talking to friends and family but i still feel torn. I made the mistake of contacting his mom to ask if hes ohk. Even though she was very polite what breaks my heart is that he didnt call back.

    After fours of dating Im still longing for him.I still love him and want him back. Please help!


    • Charlotte Jane says:

      I’m so sorry to hear this. He has treated you really badly and you don’t deserve this! His behaviour is really peculiar and immature. Unfortunately there is not much that you can do if he refuses to talk to you and has decided to cut you out of his life. The more you try to contact him or reinsert yourself in his life, the more he will pull away and see you negatively. The best thing that you can do right now is to act like he doesn’t exist. Don’t contact him or his mother or act like you care. If he doesn’t get back in touch with you in the next couple of months then you will know that it is over for good.

      To be honest, I think that you deserve so much better and that you shouldn’t have to settle with this kind of behaviour. Try to keep yourself as busy as you can. Do you ever have to see your ex boyfriend? Get out and enjoy your life and he will see that you are an interesting an fun person with better things to do than pine for him. I know it sounds like a cliche, but every day will get better and you will eventually see that you can do better.

      If he does get back in touch with you do not pander to him at all. He has to respect you if he is to want you back, if he knows that you will take him back and run after him then he will continue to treat you badly because he knows that there are no consequences for his actions. I hope it works out for you Phumi.

  • Tony says:

    Hi my name is tony i dont know if you can help gay PEOPLE but il send you this letter any way …
    Im 47 years old and i have been With my parner for five years he is 10 years YOUNGER than me
    We have had the most wonderful relationship we best friends we have a buitiful house friends ecc
    Im a fashion designer and dress maker he is the owner of a food store so we both have good jobs
    He models for me as well tv fashion shows foto shotting we do every thing together until april of this year he told me he dont love me any more .i couldt Belive it we have had such a fantastic life together new house CAR holidys freinds ecc
    Ok in january of this year the boss of my ex partner came to see him at home he told out of the blue that he needs to sell the food store
    You have two choses you can buy the buissnes or il have to sack you .after 12 years work im for this company it Was such a shock for my ex partner .we talk ed about it and i SAw he had changed in one second of horror iv never seen him like that
    Any way a few mths passed i i helpped him deside to buy the store but in the mean time his boss Was not paying him for mths my work had gone slow to so we where both under a lot of stress With payments ecc . I befane to get fatter i let my self go abit he Was so worred about the new store as he didnt have all the risponabilliaty before even though he Was the manger for all thouse years .
    He didnt feel he could do it he couldt make any mistake .. We where not rowing or anything but we where both under alto of stress sex went away abit i Was looking old and frupmy he Was not seelping it Was Just a mes all round .he told me he need to be alone to think of the new business so it Was best that he move out for a while to think clearly about everything he told me its not for ever but i need time to think and not make mistacs . As i love him very much and SAw he need to do this i agrred With him to do it
    The day he left he SAId to me crying well the both of us where .. He SAId its not for ever he only took a small amount of things he even took our foto of when we got maried he still has the Keys to the house ..he cares about me but he dont have any feelings for any more
    I cant under stand that if you dont love anyone any more you take all your things you leave and may after a few mths may be you contact that person to see how they are ?? No its not like that we talk avery day he comes round to the house to see our cat ecc we have been out to dinner ecc but he still tells me he dont love me he tells me to be tranquillo its not for ever Just give me time to be alone and think for him self .. There is non one els and i Belive him and plus he is allways talking to me and gets home very late after work
    I need to know what to do i love him very much and i Would do anything for him but im hurting so much im not calligrafia him much now and then i do Just to see how the store is going and may be some time ask him if he has thought about us he says he dont have time
    I have now come to the conclusion that he wont come back to me i have changed so much iv lost all the wight i put on so im back to how i uesde to be he is very please d about that but he says to do that for your self not for me i Say both it has opened my eyes to many things we could of done but couldt With the stess of money
    Can you give me some davi se in what to do
    Thankyou tony

  • Tiffany says:

    My husband left me and my son seven weeks ago. We have been together for eleven years and married for four and a half. Our son is three. The past year has been rough for us and he wanted out. I was frustrated with our finances and pushed him away. I love him very much and want to work on things. But he’s hellbent on doing his own thing right now. He began talking to a friend from his hometown and just went back for a visit across the country I should add. And they are dating. He says he’s in love. I know it’s a rebound and anybody who showers him with affection right now will seem like the perfect person. He’s coming back in a few days and will be away from her. I have history and a family on my side. What can I do to make him see that a rough patch doesn’t mean it has to be over. I know my part in our problems and I’m working on it. We still have lots of contact because of our son and before he went on his trip even spent weekends together as a family and he admitted he had fun and wanted to keep doing it. How do I make use of the fact that she is across the country and me and our son are here?

  • nonhle says:

    My name is nonhle and I really need your advise is just that I hav been dating a guy for six month things were good nd then he engaged me, and after few weeks I saw a woman on my boyfrnd s profile pic and when I asked him he said its his frndy and I told him to remove it but he havn’t and so I was so angry nd I blocked him on my social networks so dat he couldn’t hav acess and latter on he said he is done with me nd where I did apologized to him and things get back to normal.

    And he said I hav to giv him a week so dat he can dumpe a girl ,but it was the Timewhere I found out that he is serious in luv with the girl nd where he used to tell the girl about my situation and the girl uses to insults me via whatsupp nd latter on they called me just to inform me dat he don’t luv me anymore.

    So after dat he called he says he still luv me but I don’t hav to call him while he is with his gf nd I don’t understand what this, please help me cuz everytym when she is with her gf they call me nd insults me as they lyk and now I’m confused cuz I don’t no what to call this luv or what pleas help me because I’m not coping.


  • Dell says:

    I broke up with him almost 6 months ago and I regret it, he is everything I ever wanted , I did everything to get his attention, I have been out with friends, I have changed my style “for me” not for him, because that made me feel better about myself, but unfortunately I keep seing him going away even further, he doesn’t want me anymore and he keeps telling me to see other men.
    I have no energy for seeing other man, because he is what I really want.
    I talked to him and he told me that there is no hope and I have to move on.
    He changed at the way he looks at me, he doesn’t care about me anymore basically.
    He said we can be friends but I refused, and then I regret that I refused that I felt so stupid, because now everytime I talk to him he avoids me, is there anyway to tell him that Im ok with that friends zone becuse I still want to talk with him and know what he up to, I completely lost him and I can’t help my self not being emotional I keep remembring his words and cry…

  • EsLee says:

    My Ex Boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 9 months now. We were friends since the fifth grade and then really close and almost best friends since our high school years until our summer of senior year of high school. We started to hang out a lot more senior year of high school and then during the summer he started to get an interest in me. At first, I really had no idea but eventually I started to notice. Without me knowing, I started to get an interest in him too but I didn’t want to start anything…I mean he was my best friend! What if us going out doesn’t end up successfully and then we end up not even being friends anymore? However, as time passed on, I couldn’t hold back my feelings anymore and in December of 2013, we started to date. Things were really good and it has been awhile since I was in a serious relationship so everything seemed all lovey dovey. However, at one point things started to turn down. Ever since then, we started to fight constantly and he would say let’s break up or go on a break and then I would say no and beg for him to not break up with me, and then eventually we would be back together. This cycle happened many times throughout the relationship. Then, he said let’s break up for good. He said it wasn’t me but him. He just wasn’t sure about this whole relationship and me anymore. He said he loved me less. At first, I said no and that I wanted to be with him but eventually I had to let him go. I contacted him once after but that was it. However, he doesn’t contact me often, but he has contacted a few times through text, and drunk called me twice, except the last time he drunk called me he wasn’t drunk but just tipsy. He also said the last time he called me, he said let’s just talk as friends right now and not think about our past relationship. He asked how I was doing and what I was up to and we actually started to joke around and talk comfortably and laugh. Then, he said the only thing he regrets is that he wasn’t a good guy to me and I should start looking for a guy who can treat me really nicely. Then, I told him I’m not 100% over him right now so I can’t and I asked if he is because he’s saying all of these things so easily. He told me no that’s why he has been contacting me even after the break up but he doesn’t really know what he wants and he wants me to find a man who will treat me right and make me happy. He said let’s talk about our past relationship later, in a month or so. What does this all mean? He seems to still care but also wants me to move on? I’m just really confused on what I should do and if I even have a chance of getting back together with him again? Me emotional state has gotten better than before but it is true that I still do want to be with him in the future.

  • sher says:

    im 19 years old and my ex is 22. We had a relationship for 7 months and we were good friends before the relationships for about 4 months. We were very close. But suddenly in our last month together, he said that he was doubting about our relationship..
    It hurts me very much. 2 weeks later he broke up with me..

    saying that we were too different from each other, he didn’t feel like I understood him, and he said that the main reason was that he didn’t have feelings for the relationship anymore..
    And now, after i thought about it..
    I think i pushed him away..
    like he once said..
    I was too negative about him, because in my head i had a different view on a relationship. Too much thinks he did wrong in my mind.. but now i consider that i was just asking too much..
    Ofcourse i do not say that its all my fault.. but i think its a part of the reason.

    Now my question really is,
    how can we come back together?

    After the break up , ive not talked to him for 2 weeks. after that i send him a message and we just talked… he asked many questions. and he even said that he would show me how some game works sometime soon. so he does want to see me and talk with me..

    But what should I do? Im planning for a meeting.. but don’t know whether to ask him about a second chance.. or just have fun and don’t talk about coming back together..

  • mercy says:

    I like your advice

    • realtionshipguru says:

      It sounds like he met someone else. Thats why is was so drastic. He knew you might freak out,so that might be why is change his number. Learn and evolve from this experience and read the book”The Rules,” so you dont repeat the same dating patterns.

  • Muna says:

    I’m lost i was hoping what can I do to bering my boyfriend back is been 4 months

    • realtionshipguru says:

      Let him go.Anything that you chase runs away.Dont beat yourself and forgive yourself aswell. Live your life to the fullest and good things will come.

  • Christinah says:

    I loved him so much and I still love him.I never knew there will be a time where he will break up with me.It seems like he moved on with his life, he even changed his facebook status from ‘single’ to ‘In a relationship’ , he even mentioned about an engagement party and that he is crazy in love with her.I don’t know the girl, all I know is I want him back and I love him.What can I do ????

  • Debra says:

    My situation is a little different. I met a guy and things progressed pretty fast. We had sex pretty quickly. I wasn’t looking for a relationship so seeing him only two or three times a week was fine with me. The problem is that he started telling me intimate things about his life and acting like someone who was really into me. His actions showed he was into me and wanted a relationship but then once in awhile he would say that “he was bad at relationships” ….sure enough he was acting funny one day when we had a date planned that night. He called me explaining that a “friend came by early in the morning, they went to breakfast and then went back to his place and one thing lead to another.” Basically he had sex with his ex (whom he has had and on and off thing for years) …of course I got upset, cried, yelled. After a few weeks I texted him and he immediately texted me back. If I called him to ask for help in the business he is in, he called me back. But one day, my girlfriend wanted to see what he looked like so on my cell phone I pulled up facebook and showed her his pic. She started looking at his friends (he only had a few) and by accident friended a female on his friends page (which I believe is his ex)../she immediately accepted and I immediately unfriended her. Then she sent a friend request to me! who does this? She knows about me and who I am but it was so humiliating. I never responded to her friend request. Since this happened I am too afraid to even text this guy and now it has almost been six weeks with no contact. I know he is with her but I miss him. I started having feelings for him which I didn’t expect. Now I don’t know how to handle this. None of these sites really have the answer for me in my unique situation so I hope you do.

  • carol says:

    Hi how do I do no contact when I work with my ex boyfriend.

  • cheryl says:

    Does he still care? will he regret his actions? my ex bf ended our relationship and acts like he dont care… im heartbroken?Some advice and my ex bf were together 4 5years we are best friends. We rarely argued. Always had holidays. Lived together 4 2years.then this year I had difficulties in sustaining a job since I left my last 1.we were saving for a mortgage but my money and savings went on bills and the past 6 months have been stressful we lost 2 members of the family.. I’m struggling to get a suitable job and I was also diagnosed with confidence dropped so did our intimate relationship but we both still loved and things were still fine just a rough patch… Then he decides he wants 3 days space.. I gave him that..after 3 days he decided to end our 5 year relationship a week before Christmas and then tells me his feelings changed towards me months ago… I am absolutely heartbroken.. We had something so special and hes thrown it away as if it ment nothing… I still payed my bills I never depended on him..I did my up most to get a job.. I even went on a 7 week course… I made hampers to gain money.. Our rent was cheap coz it was his dads flat…he earnt 2 people’s salary’s but I still paid my way… I’m now bk at my mum and dads I’ve been clearing my stuff out the flat I can’t stop getting upset… He’s 24 I’m 27..I feel he’s embarrassed of me and has judge our relationship on the last 6months.we hardly talk..he’s already been messaging girls and I found condoms in his draw.. Y is he trying to hurt me so bad..I did everything for him..

    He chatted to girls after via Fb after we split not during our relationship.. Like he’s happy to be single… Do u think in time he will regret all this? As his parents are moving to Spain soon and his bro will be moving up with his gf..he don’t have huge group of mates… He’s acting like he’s missed out on a big part of his life…only time we talk is about the flat he don’t contact me otherwise and he’s really friendly when he talks about the flat… I’m just gutted and sad how he’s just thrown 5 years down the drain… I can change and things could of got better but he didn’t give me a chance

  • Jayne says:

    Been divorced for 6 months recently been going out together but now he’s pulled back think he’s dating someone else how do I get him back I love him so much my heart has broken

  • Julia says:

    Hi. My boyfriend and I have been dating for the last 3 years.
    2 of those years were long distance where we would see each other ones every two weeks. Then he found a job in my city and moved to where I was. I was thrilled about this and thought the the relationship was going somewhere. Over this past year I was always afraid that he would find someone else in this city of endless possibilities. He always loved me so much and cared about me (or claimed to).
    Over the last several months he started to pull away, going places without me, hanging out with his male single friend til 3:00am and completely neglecting our relationship. The more he pulled away, the more I clung to him and demanded why he wasn’t as loving or begging for some quality time. Finally, just last week he broke up with me saying he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me anymore because I became overbearing and didn’t give him enough space . He always said he wanted to be in a serious relationship and not in meaningless flings but his recent behavior proved the opposite. I am so devastated and felt such a connection with him because we both share similar cultural background and we did have an amazing caring relationship at one point. I just feel like my controlling and needy behavior resulted in his neglect and it snowballed into a break up. Our break up lasted for 3 days and he said he wanted to end things “gently” but we were still sleeping together and were super affectionate. Then he acted super mean and distant for two days and I texted him and asked him if I could see him one last time for closure . He agreed. When I got there he seduced me and we slept again and expressed that he misses me and still loves me which confused me and made me think we would reconcile. The next morning he texted me saying it’s best if we don’t talk to each other anymore and for me not to contact him again . It really hurt me hearing that from him again after the way he acted the night before. I felt like he was playing with my emotions but wanted to give the benefit of a doubt that he still loves me but is bitter and resentful towards me about my behavior.
    My question is: is there any chance for us to reconcile at some point in the future?
    Also, how long should the No Contact period be in this case, and am I able to contact him first in a month or two after I work on myself and get my life together? How do I know if I should totally give up? I really can’t imagine myself with anyone else. I still love him Soooo much!
    Thank you.

  • Mad says:

    Me and my boyfriend are 18. We have dated for over a year and when we met when we’re 17.
    We always imagined ourselves being together forever as we thought we were meant to be and perfect for each other. Even though we are so young we believed it was fate and so did everyone else including our family and friends.

    A month ago he decided to end things. HIs reason was that he wasn’t as happy in the relationship lately. For two weeks he was being different and he wouldn’t tell me why, he just said he was stressed with uni.
    After the breakup I didn’t contact him and two weeks later he messaged me asking if he saw me out and saying he wishes he couldve seen me as he misses me more than I could ever know and hasn’t bern coping.

    A week after this I contacted him asking for a second chance and he said he doesn’t want that as he believes that he will feel the same way again.

    Do you think he has said no because it is so soon and he still feels breaking up was the right thing to do? Do I have another chance of getting him back?

  • shab says:

    hi. me and my boyfriend were in relationship for good 3yrs initially I was the one who use to ignore him and not to accept the fact that we r dating each other in front of lateron he forced me to come in relationship be he’s girlfriend and stay with him forever.he was perfect for me. He loved me like he always wanted a girl like me ever.he was the one who use to initiate love care and blah blah..He stays in newyork and I am currently staying in india. I thought we were living like a happy couple no matter we fight like animals but I thought we r happy and lateron we gave one chance to each other and went for holidays together and we thoroughly enjoyed we spend like crazy couple. After coming back from holidays we again had a fight and didn’t spoke to each other for 2 months properly.and i was trying to move on happily but when he came to India to see me I thought he came for me just to see how I am but that wasn’t a truth. some how we end up meeting each other and had good quality time.before it was awkward I was behaving like friend to him so he did but we end up showing our love to each other.
    We two behaved like couple again and even he acreated that he loves me and wanna start things again from beginning. He said he loves me,he go crazy when he see me,he says how beautiful I am. I was happy and so he behaved
    but when he went back he said he’s confused and we fought again for almost 2 days and finally he said he don’t lover me any more he wants me to move on and stay happy which I couldn’t accept this confusion thing like when he was in India he said he wants to start things again and when he went back he’s confused.
    I cried like hell,tried to convince him begged for love but than later on I decided to accept are breakup ,apologies for what happen and said bye forever.. bcoz I wanted to apply this no contact’s been 30 days and m doing the same what’s mention above like show him how happy and attractive you are blah blah.. but still there is no response….
    kindly help me out with my problem.. I really want him back..thankyou

  • Linda says:

    my name is Linda, my boyfriend and I had been dating for 3 months when his career forced him to relocate. we continued dating thereafter. he would come home once a month and we would see each other, either for movie or dinner or both, we couldn’t spend much time because I was still staying with my parents and they were strict, I couldn’t even go to visit him where he stayed. We always looked forward to month end but the time was just not enough and the distance was too much.8 months down the line he met someone else and moved on. I was so hurt and I realised there was nothing I could do. We didn’t talk for a whole year until a friend of his told me he had lost his father, I called him to offer my condolences and asked if he was ok with me attending the funeral with some of his friends I had met. I said he thought it was sweet, so I attended and we met, he appreciated my support. He didn’t think I would come considering how hurt I was.
    his current girlfriend was there, its not the same one he left me for, its a new one, they have been dating for 2 months now and they seemed to be in love. it was very awkward to see him with another girl but I had to be strong.
    he told me he will be coming home in two weeks time, so I might see him. I don’t know what to say to him when I see him. I want him back badly but I don’t want to scare him away.
    kindly advise me please.thank you

  • Linda says:

    I was with my ex bf for 7 years we have a daughter together. He moved out of our house to his sisters. He says he wants to be just friends with me for the kids and that he loves me and cares about me but he doesnt love me as much as he used to. I was controlling always around him everyday he didnt get to have a social life and i was very low self esteem and jealous of every girl he came into contact with. I want him back and i dont know what to do. We have been broken up for 3 weeks now and it seems he is getting further away probably because i keep asking for him back everytime we see each other. He wants me to do visits with him and the kids instead of just dropping them off should i not do that should i do minimal contact on him. One of our problems is that i never went out and did stuff because i have a social phobia of people and me not having fun around him and kids in public was a huge problem. He still flirts and i will catch him looking at me and he will get a big smile on his face. I was told that he is with someone else but he says that he is not with anyone else and he does not want to try with anyone else for a while. Please help me i have been in alot of relationships and this is the only one that hurt me i know i really love him and want us to be a happy family. What steps do i take to get him back?

  • Felicia says:

    I broke up with my boyfriend about a month ago because I thought that was what he wanted. It turns out that was not the case. He told me that he thinks its too late for us to get back together, so, instead of thinking clearly, i acted out and did something really stupid. Now he is angry at me and he wont even look at me. How do I recover our friendship?

  • Priscilla Duah says:

    Hi my boyfriend and I broke up just four days ago but I love him so much and I want him back. We started the relationship four years ago but before,we were colleagues in the office and also friends and we were already in a different relationship before we met. He later confessed his love for me when both of us started having problems in our various relationships I accepted and things were going on well for us. But from the beginning of the relationship he told me his family wants him to marry a lady from their tribe that he had refused but they are still insisting so he pleaded with me to make a blood covenant with him to secure our relationship which I refused cos I wanted us to get married first. A year after our relationship,I got pregnant,when I told him he told me politely that we shouldn’t hv a baby for now so we should abort it but I refused and since that time his attitude towards me was a bit cold. I asked him several times whether he wants to quit or he doesn’t love me anymore and several times he assures me he still loves me and Never wants to quit but it’s his family that was putting pressure on him to marry the other lady and he doesn’t want to hurt his mum either. Cos of this pressure we couldn’t introduce ourselves to our families even after the pregnancy and after birth. I only told my family that the father of my baby boy is out of the country but he takes good care of my baby and I and they believed me cos my family does not live In the same town where my guy and I lived (my boyfriend and I were not living together though) Before this break up, I have asked him several times for a break cos of his cold attitude towards me and the baby but he would big me not to leave him cos he loves me but his actions says either wise. Recently I asked him for a break up again and his answer was the same. But time I insisted, and even told him that I want to marry so if he can’t face his family and marry me, he should leave me alone cos somebody out there might be interested in marrying me. This time he accepted to let me go but he cried a lot. It’s been four days now since we broke up but I miss him. What should I do to Get him back and to marry him?

  • Priscilla Duah says:

    Hi my boyfriend and I broke up just four days ago but I love him so much and I want him back. We started the relationship four years ago but before,we were colleagues in the office and also friends and we were already in a different relationship before we met. He later confessed his love for me when both of us started having problems in our various relationships I accepted and things were going on well for us. But from the beginning of the relationship he told me his family wants him to marry a lady from their tribe that he had refused but they are still insisting so he pleaded with me to make a blood covenant with him to secure our relationship which I refused cos I wanted us to get married first. A year after our relationship,I got pregnant,when I told him he told me politely that we shouldn’t hv a baby for now so we should abort it but I refused and since that time his attitude towards me was a bit cold. I asked him several times whether he wants to quit or he doesn’t love me anymore and several times he assures me he still loves me and Never wants to quit but it’s his family that was putting pressure on him to marry the other lady and he doesn’t want to hurt his mum either. Cos of this pressure we couldn’t introduce ourselves to our families even after the pregnancy and after birth. I only told my family that the father of my baby boy is out of the country but he takes good care of my baby and I and they believed me cos my family does not live In the same town where my guy and I lived (my boyfriend and I were not living together though) Before this break up, I have asked him several times for a break cos of his cold attitude towards me and the baby but he would big me not to leave him cos he loves me but his actions says either wise. Recently I asked him for a break up again and his answer was the same. But time I insisted, and even told him that I want to marry so if he can’t face his family and marry me, he should leave me alone cos somebody out there might be interested in marrying me. This time he accepted to let me go but he cried a lot. It’s been four days now since we broke up but I miss him. What should I do to Get him back and to marry him?

  • Ellie G says:

    My boyfriend and I broke up last weekend, I was staying for the weekend, we’d been out for a meal, two of his friends were there, we had a great time. It was not until we went to bed that he landed on me he was breaking up with me. I was devastated to say the least and althoug he said he loves me, I didn’t know becuase he had not said it for a while. His reason for the breakup was that he wanted to concentrate on his son, he’s 17 and a little wayward at the moment. I love the two of them and how could i not be okay with that? I’d never interfere. But I know in my heart of hearts we are meant to be together. While he said we could still be friends as we are in the same circle once a week and I could stay in his house anytime i wanted. I’m just so upset right now not having the daily contact. I did see him three days ago when we were out and offered him a lift home (he doesn’t drive) and he accepted. I have not been in contact with him otherwise, although he texted me last night and while i answered i was quite cool. Not nasty but not in his face either. (if that makes sense)

  • Chris says:

    Hey, my ex and I broke up on October 1st. We lived together for a month and during that month he held me while I slept, we had sex, and cuddled on the couch. He already moved on with someone from Facebook and they have flown great distances to see eachother. My ex and I were together for 6.5 years and we’ve had are ups and downs, but this last 6 months we went straight down lower than we’ve ever been. I pushed him away as I was tired and couldn’t take care of him, the house, the dog, the cars, the bills, and everything else that fell on my shoulders…I shut down completely, and then he responded with a breakup… so I can’t really blame him. I begged him the first week not to give up on us, all he c I uld say is I can’t, I just need to be happy. When I found out about this other person, I was upset, because how could he move on so hard and fast, they are talking about marriage so on and so fourth… so I moved out, took everything that rightfully belonged to me and left. That’s the only time he seemed to get full of rage with me, the previous night we talked and he stated that all we were was separated and that he loved me, and didn’t want me to be out of his life. Later on that night I found out that that F/B person was coming to my home town and asked to stay with him at his house, with his dog and his 2 vehicles. I was heart broken especially after our talk, so the next day I packed everything up (that was mine or on my credit), took both cars (because I purchased both of them) and left him with the house, dog and things that were righTully his. The thing is I took away my put togetherness (which he is not), and sex appeal, and he freaked out… I know that it wasn’t the nicest thing, but honestly I was starting to feel used by him… the man I spent so many years with. Well, I know I didn’t want our relationship to be over, and I still don’t. I fear that it may beyond repair, I haven’t spoken with him in 4 days (due to that person being out here) and I’m just wondering if he will ever come to his senses. I may have pushed him away, but he pushed me out the door.

  • lostinlove says:

    Hi. I liked it and i am going to use this

  • Mimi says:

    Hi ,
    Me and my ex boyfriend broke up like 3 weeks now but he says he wants to stay friends so he doesn’t lose me
    At the same time I told him I’ll leave him abs he said he won’t allow that , I asked him if we can try it again and all he says I’ll think about it and I don’t know what can I do to make him want me back 😔 He keep saying he doesn’t wanna be in a relationship cuz he doesn’t wanna be in a cage I need help please our monthsary is coming soon and next month will be 2 years

    • vanessa says:

      hello Mimi. I read what you wrote and I’m just responding:) I think it is best to be with him as a friend for now…he will start to miss you in a physical way. and if your 2nd anniversary is coming up… ask him to still celebrate that day with you as a friend…having him as a friend, is better than not having him at all. anyway hope it all works out:)

  • elizabeth says:

    We only dated for 5months, we loved each other, we had communication problems and i ended up d relationship. Letter on i called him, that i wanted him back, he agreed that after my exams we should meet. I always scolded him n he got fed up. He told me he doesn’t wanna see me n doesn’t love me, i kept begging him, he refused 2 listen. I sent him a text saying i was letting go n will keep him away from my heart. I really want him back n we haven’t spoken 2 each other since 2weeks, don’t know if he will come back.

  • Teemy says:

    My ex boyfriend broke up with me a year ago without a valid reason, he told me that he has got a new girlfriend. I was deeply hurt, I loved him so much and I still do. we spent over three months in the no contact rule and now we are chatting on whatsap. He is busy telling me that he still love me and would love me to be his girlfriend again yet he is still seeing his other girlfriend and busy posting pictures on her on whatsap which hurt me the most. I love him so much but I am afraid that I will be hurt again. I don’t want to be his side chick so I’m confused on what to do.

  • yolanda says:

    I and my boy friend as been separated for a long period, I came across different spell caster and they were all unable to bring my lover back. I was so sad and almost gave up on him when i met a spell man Dr Akwuke that helped me get my lover back. Ever since then i have been so happy and couldn’t believe it would happen. He also helped me with success spell, I have been living happily with my lover now and will be getting married soon. Here is his contact if you need his help

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