Avoid These Mistakes If You Want To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back
When you first get dumped there are a whole myriad of emotions and thoughts running through your head. It is natural to feel depressed and desperate but you do not want to let these feelings take over as it could spell disaster for your future chances of getting back your ex boyfriend.
It is common for your ex boyfriend to act cold or indifferently towards you in the aftermath of your separation, unfortunately this only makes you feel worse and confused because he is acting like a completely different person to who you know him as.
So what do you do if he is ignoring you, isn’t returning your phone calls and seems as though he has moved on already without you? That is a good question and something that we are going to tackle here. So keep on reading to find out what you should not be doing that will push him away from you. You will also learn some proven strategies that will regain his interest and spark off attraction for you again, so let’s get going!
If you feel like this girl right now you are not alone. Of course it is healthy to take some personal time to wallow in your sadness. You are not a robot and you have to deal with what has just happened. Do not allow this to go on too long though as it will have a negative impact on your chances of getting him back again.
Statistics Prove That 95% Of Relationships Can Be Saved
You have to take some hope in the fact that thousands of couples break up every day all over the world and a lot of these couples do end up getting back together. There is some luck involved in this naturally, but other women instinctively know what to do and say to make their ex boyfriends regret their decision. They are aware of human psychology and what will make him yearn for them again and start chasing after them. These are the girls that get their ex boyfriends back and you can do exactly as they have done when you follow the right advice.
The Good News
There is some good news in all of this. There are a few ways that you can get your ex boyfriend back, no matter what happened in your relationship. You just have to want it enough and have the motivation to put in a little bit of effort. I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that you will win him back tomorrow, the likelihood is that this will not happen, it may take a few weeks. It all depends upon your own situation.
However, you can speed up the process by putting certain techniques to work. When you see these techniques starting to work on him it will be fun to watch. There will be a big shift in how he interacts with you and how he views you, so take heart, all hope is not lost yet.
You have an amazing advantage right now and that is knowledge. The more you know about the male mind and how men commonly react after a break up, the more you will be able to judge your own personal situation correctly and do and say all the right things to make him desire you again.
Think about it like this. You are good at certain things because you practice them a lot or you know a lot about the subject. Just like you could be an excellent flirt, you can also become effective in reversing a break up. Most people don’t have a clue where to start though as this was never taught to them in school or anywhere else. In fact, friends and family can end up giving you incredibly damaging advice. It’s not their fault though, they were never taught these things either.
The Importance Of Timing
Even if you find yourself on the right path and making progress with your ex boyfriend, the sad fact is that if you stay on this same path for too long it can end up pushing him away. You see, you have to understand the importance of timing here. Guys can be impatient and will soon move on if they have to jump through too many hoops to get you back. In the same way they can quickly lose interest if you are not quick enough.
Be aware though that there is a natural progression to getting him back, if you rush full steam ahead in desperation it will put him off you for good and make him want to stay as far away from you as possible. There is obviously a fine line that you need to walk to make your efforts successful. Don’t worry though, you are going to learn all about what to do and the mistakes that you should be avoiding.
You have to know where to start first, so let’s take a look at some of the mistakes women usually make when trying to get him back. These should be avoided at all costs. If you have already made some or all of these mistakes never fear. There are specific things that you can do to make him forget all about them and make him view you in a positive light again. Please read through and learn these tips before you do anything else. This is your first step in making him want you back again.
Avoid These Common Mistakes After Your Break Up
This is probably the most crucial time after your break up. What you do and say here will determine where you are heading in terms of getting back together. You can end up saying and doing things that will drive him away from you and make him see you as unstable. I’m afraid that this is what most girls end up doing in the initial stages of their break up because their emotions are running at an all time high.
The problem here is that most girls do not realize how important this stage is. They end up hitting out at their ex boyfriends because they are angry and hurt. They often feel that they should be doing something to win back his love and start making serious errors in judgement because of this. It is a desperate time and the more they try to win him back, the worse their situations seem to become.
There is a reason for this and it is all based on timing. You can’t just expect for your ex boyfriend to take you back immediately after he broke up with you. This wouldn’t make sense as he obviously has good reasons for doing so. You have to give him some space to work out what he wants and if you are behaving in a desperate and highly volatile manner, it will just reinforce that he made the right decision to break up with you in the first place.
Watch Out For What You Say To Him After Your Break Up
You have to keep in mind that everything that you do or say after your break up is magnified in his eyes. This is because it is an emotionally charged time. He will remember everything you say to him because he is sensitive to you thoughts about him. So be careful about uttering things that you might later regret.
Do not act before you think. That is a sound piece of advice and it can save a lot of heartache. You may have already made this mistake with your ex boyfriend but it doesn’t mean it is the end for you.
This is a time when you are at your weakest emotionally and so many things will be going on in your mind that it is easy to lose sense of reality sometimes. Accept that this is a stage that you must go through after your break up, but deal with it in a mature way and do not allow him to see that you are taking it badly.
Stalking Is A Bad Idea
Now, if saying horrible and spiteful things to your ex boyfriend wasn’t bad enough, stalking him will really ruin your chances of getting him back. I’m not talking about the kind of stalking where you creep up on him from behind and sit outside of his house with binoculars monitoring everything that he does (avoid this too please). What I’m talking about is cyber stalking or stalking him through his friends.
This is a very common method that girls use after they have been dumped to keep an eye on what he is doing and how he is feeling after the break up. It is natural to want to know what he is up to and who he is doing it with, after all he was a huge part of your life and he suddenly isn’t there anymore.
What you have to bear in mind is that this will be doing you no good whatsoever. It can quickly become an obsession and take over every part of your life. You can also end up reading into things too much and it will end up hurting you even more. I have known grown women who have slowly lost all self respect in doing this. They check his Facebook wall every day for clues for over a year after the break up and they end up becoming mentally unwell and can’t move on.
You have to remember that what your ex boyfriend posts on Facebook is very different to the reality of how he is feeling. Think about it. We project an image of how we want things to be on Facebook. We seldom pour out our hearts on our walls for everyone to see, this is even more true for guys. They will want to portray an image of happiness to you and the outside world. Male pride will not allow them to look like they miss you.
Never Plead On Him To Take You Back
This is a very common thing for girls to do because they are grief-stricken and cannot imagine their life without him. You have to start to think about things from his perspective though. How will it look to him if you start asking him constantly to give it another try? If you start crying in front of him and trying to guilt trip him into things it will only make him resent you even more and he will start to see you as pathetic.
When you are miserable and desperate it is highly unattractive to him. Why would be want to be with a girl who is weak and has no self respect? I know that this sounds harsh, but you have to understand that men view relationships and behaviour completely differently. They have different priorities and will want a girl that is composed and knows her own self worth. If you do not know how special you are and what you deserve in a relationship, how do you expect him to?
If you continue down this self destructive path you will only end up doing yourself more damage and making it almost impossible for your ex boyfriend to ever see you in a positive light again. Let’s take a look at what guys usually think after a break up. This should give you a big insight into what goes on in the male mind and what you should not be doing.
What He Thinks After He Dumps You
“Whenever I break up with someone I want space. I do not want to have to go over and over my reasons again and again about why I wanted to break up with her. It is embarrassing and awkward.”
“After I broke up with my girlfriend I found it much easier to ignore her altogether. I just didn’t know what to say to her as I thought it would hurt her more if I continued to be friendly. Every time we spoke she wanted to meet up and asked if I would take her back. I couldn’t handle that.”
I hate the drama of break ups. When a girl gets very resentful and bitter towards you there is no way that you want to be around her. Guilt trips are the worst. Girls have a knack of making you feel bad about the break up and turning everyone against you.”
Do you see now that this kind of behaviour can make him glad that he broke up with you in the first place? The last thing that you want is for him to feel this way about you as it is just soul-destroying.
The best thing that you can do is not to force things. You want to avoid making things awkward between you both because it will discourage him from trying to initiate conversations with you. Give yourself and him some space initially so that you can work out your next moves and get your emotions in check.
Now that you have learned what you should not be doing, the next logical thing to do would be to learn what you should be doing to make him want you again and speed up your reconciliation. Click here for more advice on what you should do.
What If You Have Already Made These Mistakes?
The good news is that it is not too late. The above advice may seem somewhat inappropriate if your break up happened a long time ago. It still helps to understand where you have gone wrong up to this point so that you can start to fix it, and fix it you can!
If you are still determined to get your ex boyfriend back then you will have to take a step back, understand what you have been doing wrong and then start to immerse yourself in the male psyche. When you discover exactly what goes on in his head it will be a real eye opener for you. From there you can start to put yourself in a position of control again and follow a proven plan to win back his interest in you and begin to miss you.
It is not too late to take action. There are certain detachment techniques that you can apply to make your ex boyfriend know that you are ok with the break up and you accept it.
Even if you have not talked to your ex boyfriend in a while this is still an extremely effective technique as it shows him that you are moving away from him and getting on with your life. This will throw him off balance and suddenly start to spark his interest in you again. This will ultimately open up the chance of reconciliation between you both when he realises that you could be slipping away from you for good.
Text Your Ex Back System goes into this in a lot more depth and give you the appropriate techniques to follow to get his attention and make him desire you again.
Your Next Steps
When your ex boyfriend gets back in touch with you, you will need to know how to respond in a way that retains his interest and stoke his desire for you again. If you don’t pull this off properly, he will start to pull away from you again and move on.
Need More Help?
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