“How Do I Get My Ex To Chase Me?”
If only getting an ex to chase you was as easy as clicking your fingers or casting some sort of magic spell on them. Sadly it’s not and you wouldn’t want to do things that way anyway. You want your ex to chase you because they want to, because they still like you. That way you know it is genuine and real and that the relationship has a chance of working.
Big Mistakes That Exes Make
It is important to know where most people go wrong after a breakup if you are to learn what to avoid. A lot of people in your situation will panic after their breakup and try to get their ex to chase in them in all the wrong ways.
The common strategy that people employ is to make their exes jealous. They don’t do it in a subtle way though, they bring out the big guns and plaster their fake happiness all over Facebook and parade their new interest right in front of their ex’s face. Not a smart move. How on earth will this make your ex chase you? If your ex has any feelings left for you at all, showing your ex that you are fickle, mean and uncaring will only make them resolute that the breakup was a good idea. Instead of pulling your ex towards you, you will push them further away by making them hurt, angry or confused at your callous behaviour. There are more effective ways to use subtle jealousy that will make your ex much more keen to chase you.
Another huge mistake is when people try to get their ex’s attention. ‘Look I’m over here, take an interest in me!’ The more you try to remind your ex that you exist with loud and attention seeking behaviours, the more that your ex is going to think that you are desperate, needy and pathetic. You cannot get someone to notice you this way or want to pursue you. You have to use reverse psychology (you will learn more about this later on) to re-attract your ex and pull them towards you again. Big loud gestures are a no no and something that you should be avoiding at all costs. Subtlety is key here. Then your ex will have no clue that you are working to get them back in your life.
Giving your ex ultimatums and threatening them are also a bad idea. Some people think that they can threaten their ex’s into taking an interest in them again. It just doesn’t work like this. When you tell your ex that you will never speak to them or see them again if they do not go back out with you, it is never going to work. The results will actually be a lot worse than you may have anticipated. You will come across looking like a complete control freak who cannot accept the end of your relationship. You will look unreasonable and your ex will be extremely wary of you. You cannot force someone to want to be with you out of fear. A relationship like this is completely one sided and will never last.
Being manipulative and sneaky will always backfire on you too. If you start to try and play mind games with your ex, they will quickly discover what you are up to and stay clear of you. Your ex will soon tire of you if you are hot and cold with them. Being childish and trying to get a reaction out of your ex is also a bad idea. You don’t want to come across as immature and unstable after your breakup. If you want your ex to chase you then you will have to be calm, mature and focused. These are attributes that will re-attract your ex and make them want you again.
One of the most common mistakes that people make, although it is more often women than men, is to play the guilt card. Girls often try to emotionally manipulate their ex into giving it another try by saying that they can’t cope with the breakup anymore and that they don’t want to live without their ex. This can put a lot of pressure on your ex and make them feel that they have to stay in the relationship so that you don’t do anything silly. You want your ex to chase you because they want to be with you and realise that they made a mistake – you don’t want to coerce them into being with you. This is good for neither party.
Cut Contact And Disappear
The quicker you sit back and take stock of the situation, thinking clearly before you do anything, the faster your ex will start to chase you. Let’s face it, you are the one that has been chasing your ex up until this point and they have not shown much interest, if any at all. You have been texting, emailing, phoning and posting stuff on Facebook, none of which have gotten any reaction from your ex. In fact, you are starting to feel like you are getting on your ex’s nerves and that they are avoiding you completely now.
Never fear, you may have pushed your ex away from you with panic and emotional upset, desperate to keep them in your life. That doesn’t mean that you cannot rectify the situation with a carefully thought out plan that is based upon human psychology.
If you are anxious that you have said and done things that make you look desperate and foolish, at least you have the self awareness to recognise that your behaviour hasn’t been positive. Now is the time to turn things around and pull your ex towards you again by using reverse psychology to your advantage.
Immediately after your break up your instincts were to try to patch things up before you lost your ex for good. You went into panic mode doing and saying all the wrong things, rendering the situation even more hopeless. You have to be patient and realise that you will not get your ex back immediately. You have to play the long game here and act as if you are not really bothered about the break up at all.
What this essentially means is that you should cut off all contact with your ex. This may seem like an impossible feat when all that you want to do is call and communicate with the person that you love. You need to assert your willpower here and stick to it if you are to see the results that you want. Each time that you start to pester your ex, the further and further they will slip away from you.
Another great aspect of stopping what you have been doing and cutting contact with your ex is that it will prevent you from making any more silly mistakes. You will have time on your own to deal with your emotions and think things through in a non-emotional way. When you have control of yourself you will appear much more attractive to your ex. They will wonder where you have suddenly gone and why you are not ringing them anymore. Only then will they sit up and take notice again. They will now be the ones that will begin to panic that they may have lost you for good or wonder if you have moved on.
Secretly your ex liked the fact that you were chasing them. It gave their egos a big boost as they lay back and you did all the running. In situations like this your ex can behave whatever way they like and think that there are no consequences to their actions. When they know that you will be waiting in the wings, desperate to see them, or will reply to their texts eagerly, they don’t have to make the effort and will treat you badly as a consequence.
You have basically given them the go ahead to do whatever they like because they see that you will put up with anything to have them back in their life. This means that they will make you wait and pine for them because there is no rush or fear of losing you. When you cut contact and appear disinterested it will come as a bolt from the blue. They were not expecting you to go cold turkey on them and as a result they will have to smarten up their act and work for you again.
What Affect Will Your Disappearance Have On Your Ex?
Your ex will notice your disappearance very quickly, especially if you have been active in trying to keep in touch with them. All of a sudden you just don’t seem interested in them anymore, you must have moved on or lost interest in them. This will not go down too well with your ex who has been enjoying the attention from you post break up.
It is nice to know that your ex still cares about you or may still have feelings. It is always better to be the one who moves on first so that you are not the one left pining for someone who has already moved on. Your ex thought that they were in a pretty safe position and that they would move on much more quickly than you. Now that you have stopped contact with them they will have to reassess where they stand and the reality isn’t too pretty.
You would be surprised how quickly the roles start to reverse when you start to ignore your ex and show no interest in them. You were the one that was doing all of the chasing and they were reaping all of the benefits. Now your ex is starting to panic that you have given up or found someone else. Their imagination will start to run wild and they will be conjuring up all sorts of scenarios in their heads. The only way for them to find out what has sparked this sudden change in your behaviour is to approach you directly. If your ex contacts you within a couple of weeks of stopping contact, it is a really big sign that they still have feelings for you and that you have a chance of getting them back.
Your ex will start to check their phone more regularly wondering if there is some kind of a problem. They will start checking you out on Facebook to see if you have been active on there recently. They may even reach out to your friends and family to test the waters before they contact you personally. Now the roles have reversed and you are the one that is being chased! Of course, if your ex shows no interest in you when you cut complete contact, you will know once and for all that your chances of getting them back are very slim.
When you disappear from your ex’s life they will also start to miss you. This is not something that they foresaw happening. They thought that your relationship was dead in the water and that they had moved on, but now that you have completely dropped out of their life they begin to realise that they are not happy without you. Sometimes it takes a little shove or a wake up call for your ex to realise what you mean to them. Only then will they start to chase you and woo you again. You have to make them see that they stand to lose you for good and that you won’t always be around waiting in the wings.
When your ex realises that they do miss you they will start making an effort again. If you received no texts from your ex since the break up, don’t be surprised when they tentatively start to engage with you again and take an interest in your life. There is an old saying that ‘you don’t know what you’ve got until it has gone.’ This is so accurate and it is the quickest way to bolt your ex out of their complacence and make them chase you.
Getting Your Ex To Chase You – Be Fun To Be Around
One of the most effective ways to get your ex to chase you is to be who you were when you first got together. This doesn’t mean that you have to change yourself to please your ex. It just means that you have to rediscover the person that you were when you first got together. You still are this person, but you may have just lost yourself along the way.
It is easy to be down and depressed after a breakup, but no one wants to be around someone who is constantly down and negative. It rubs off on those around you. Like it or not, your ex will be paying close attention to you after the breakup and how you are taking it. If you are depressed and lamenting about how terrible your life is then your ex will not find it attractive.
If, on the other hand, you don’t seem to be taking the breakup badly and are upbeat about the future, your ex will want to know why. They will be questioning whether you were glad about the relationship ending or if you have gotten over them already. This will make them much more likely to reach out and make contact with you.
Being a happy and interesting person is infectious. People naturally want to be around you and like your company. Your ex is no different. Immediately after a breakup you don’t remember the good times that you shared together, only the bad to try and convince yourself that the breakup was a good idea. Your job is to make your ex remember the fun times that you shared before everything went sour. If you appear to be more like the old you that your ex fell for, your ex will be drawn to you again. They will want to spend time with you and recreate the special times that you had.
This doesn’t mean that you have to become a party animal or a clown trying to entertain everyone all the time. You have to be natural to be believable. Get back in touch with who your ex fell for and you will not only feel much better about yourself, but you will be attracting your ex all over again and encouraging them to make the effort to chase you again.
Get Your Ex To Chase You – Get On With Your Life
A hugely successful way to get your ex to chase you is to get on with your life. This doesn’t mean that you just pick yourself up and get over your ex. You will have quiet moments of anguish and tears when you really miss your ex. These have to be private moments though, away from the glare of your ex. You can’t let them know how down you are and how much you want them back.
One of the most attractive traits in a person is independence. If your ex sees that you are getting on with your life and busy, they will have much more respect for you. You want your ex’s respect and admiration as it is the first step in making them want you in a romantic way again. Without this respect your ex will soon get over you and move on.
Get up and get out there again. It may be the last thing that you want to do right now. You want to lock yourself in your room and not face the world. The quickest way to get back to normal though it to act like everything is normal.
Go back to school or work like nothing has happened. Hold your head up high and pretend that you are strong and balanced, even if you are feeling nothing like this. Take up a new hobby that you have always been interested in or throw yourself into work to take your mind off things. The more that you act like your life is fine, the more you will start to believe it and it will become your reality.
If your ex sees that you are ok they will take more of an interest in you. They perhaps thought that your whole life would fall apart once you broke up. Don’t give them the satisfaction. The more you show someone that you don’t need them, the more they will need you. Reverse psychology is a powerful thing. Your ex will want you back if you can show them that you are in control of your own life. They will want to be part of it again and start to make moves in your direction. If you want your ex to chase you remember that you have to give them something to chase – INTERESTING, CHARMING, BUSY, FUN YOU!
Your Next Step – Make Your Ex Desire You and Want You Back
There are a few more strategies that you can start using today to make your ex chase you and want you back. These all revolve around human psychology and reverse psychology. When you implement all of the techniques you will have a much higher success rate and it will speed things up considerably. Getting your ex to chase you is an art form and one that you will have to learn in order to get your ex back.
This is a fool proof system to enable people in your situation to pull their ex back. This system talks you through all of the mistakes that you have been making and why certain behaviours will never work. It also teaches you exactly what you need to be doing and when to get optimum results.
Take a look at this video to find out more and learn how to make your ex want you and start chasing you again.