Should You Delete Your Ex On Facebook After The Breakup?
This is a question that loads of people have asked in your position. It is so hard to know what the correct protocol is post break up. Does your ex want to hear from you again? Is it even appropriate to still be friends with someone who caused you pain and who you find it impossible to interact with? Will your ex think that you are desperate and hanging on in the hope that you will get back together? All of these questions will be racing through your mind right now as you are deciding hat to do about being facebook friends with your ex.
Understanding The Rules Of Being Facebook Friends With Your Ex
Deleting your ex on Facebook is a very drastic step and one that you should think very carefully about before diving headlong into disaster. It is easy to get carried away and act rashy on our emotions after a break up. You are hurting and wants show your ex that they no longer have a place in your life. It sends a very clear message to your ex that it is over and that you are ready to move on. Once you take this action though it is final and you cannot undo it. Therefore you have to think very carefully about what you are doing and if it is the right decision. This article will help you to decide if it is the right thing for you by talking you through the implications of deleting your ex from Facebook and how they will react.
The Importance Of Letting The Dust Settle
You have probably had the ipulse to go straight to your laptop r phone and delete your ex from Facebook loads of times. This inclination is especially strong straight after the break up, Your emotions are at an all time high, They could have said some really hurtful things and you want to show them that you don’t care and that they are no longer welcome in your life. The need for revenge can quickly overule common sense. Take a deep breath and think before you push that block or defriend button. Don’t act on impulse because the majority of people quickly regret doing so.
You need time to decide what the best thing to do is and think through your options and the implications of them. You have to ask yourself why you want to defirend your ex. Are there genuine reasons that you have weighed up in your mind? Are you just trying to hurt your ex the way that they hurt you by rejecting them? Acting childishly will make you look childish to your ex. You must make sure that you are doing it for the right reasons.
When you wait for a couple of weeks and let yourself calm down you will have a clearer head and know how to proceed. The last thing that you want to do is to send your ex the message that there is no hope left for both of you or that you are aimmature and vengeful if you want to keep them in your life as a friend or get back together with them down the line. Once you defiriend your ex that is it – over. Imagine regretting your decision down the line and wanting your ex on your friend list again. Do you really think that your ex will accept your friend request when you cut them out of your life so callously? Think before you act.
Benefits Of Keeping Your Ex As A Facebook Friend
If you want any kind of relationship with your ex in the future then you should view Facebook as a positive tool to have a window into their life. It is easy to pull up your ex’s page and see what they are up to anytime you like. You can also gage how your ex is dealing with the breakup by what they say, the things that they post, and pics of nights out with their friends after the breakup. You would not be able to do this otherwise and would have to make the effort to question your ex yourself or ask his friends. This will only look like stalking and that you haven’t come to terms with the breakup.
If you keep your ex as a friend on Facebook it will be a useful tool in getting them back if that is what you want in the future. You always want to keep a window into your ex’s life if you still love them and want to make things work. Once you take away that method of communication it is undoable. What are the chances that your ex will accept your friend request after you deleted them? They are very slim and you will look unstable and irrational in the process.
Facebook is a valuable tool in making your ex jealous and encouraging them to contact you again. You do not have to interact with your ex directly, but they will still find out what you want them to know. That is the beauty of it. You can make updates or upload pictures that allude to the fact that you are happy and getting on with your life. Your ex will notice the new you and start to question the breakup and miss you. You can literally use Facebook in hundreds of ways to lure your ex back into your life or make them realise what they have let go. De-friending your ex out of haste will prevent you from doing any of these things.
Another benefit of keeping your ex as a Facebook friend is that they will maintain a good impression of you after the breakup. Maybe they expected you to immediately login to your account and delete them. When you prove them wrong you will ultimately rise in their estimation. You will show them that you are not the spiteful, hurt and angry ex that they expected you to be. This in turn will make them question the reasons behind the breakup and start to miss you. You want to be the kind of person that your ex wants to be around and what better way to demonstrate your maturity and rationality than by keeping your ex as a virtual friend?
Benefits Of Deleting Your Ex
If the breakup was a messy or hurtful experience, the last thing that you will probably want to do is talking to your ex or keeping any kind of contact with them. If your ex hurt you really badly or did some unforgivable things then you will be driven to cut them out of your life for good. If they betrayed you then you will not want them to see how you are, what you are doing and be able to see the conversations that you are having with your friends. You want them gone and to cut them out of your life with a very sharp pair of scissors.
If you decide to delete your ex then it could have many emotional benefits for you. It would be difficult at the start to completely lose touch with them and have no idea what they are up to. Sometimes this is for the best though. If you cannot see a future with them or cannot forgive them for what they have done, then making a clean break is your most sensible option. You want to protect yourself from anymore pain and keeping your ex as far away as possible from you is the only option sometimes.
Deleting your ex can also help you to get over them much more quickly. No one is saying that it will be plain sailing and that as soon as you hit the delete button all of your pain will magically disappear. You have to be prepared for some tough days and weeks ahead and face the reality that you will want to contact your ex again and see how they are. If you do make a clean break then you will automatically change your mindset and stick to it. That makes you more motivated if you have an end goal in place and are determined not to let your ex back into your life. Ultimately you have to think about what is best mentally and emotionally for you. Only you can protect yourself from future pain and anguish.
Wouldn’t it be great if you could turn back time and delete your ex out of existence before they had the chance to hurt you? Sadly, we cannot turn back time or delete our ex’s from our memories. There are however things that we can do to make the transition of being in a relationship, to becoming single, easier.
When you delete your ex you will not have to look at their wall every day and lament over the fact that you are no longer in their life. You will not have to read between the lines of everything that they post and wade through the multitude of photos that they have been tagged in on fun nights out. How soul destroying would that be? It would eventually drive you mad and make you seethe with jealousy and rage.
Deleting your ex will also prevent you from making a complete fool of yourself. You will eradicate the tendency to poke your ex, comment or like their posts, or message them when you are drunk or emotional. This kind of behaviour will render you desperate or stalkerish. That is the last way that you want to come across to your ex and your friends. Sometimes it is just best to cut complete contact with them to save face and stop you from doing and saying things that are emotionally driven.
Another great aspect of de-friending your ex is that you will send them a clear message that you no longer need or want them in your life. You will be taking back the power that the breakup stole from you. Once you take control of the situation again you will feel a lot better and have a better view of your future.
When your ex sees that you have de-friended them it will make them panic that you are not longer interested or it will make them angry. Either way, they will likely reach out to you to ask why you did it by text, email or phone. This will prove that you still have an affect on them and that they still have feelings for you as you have the ability to hurt them.
There is a small danger that your ex will see you as petty and spiteful if you de-friend them straight after your split. They may even laugh at your expense and expect you to come crawling back to them and apologising for your rash decision. How your ex views you after the break up shouldn’t really matter to you though if you are sure that it is over and you want nothing more to do with them. If you are certain, then hitting the de-friend button is a good choice, but it is final and one that you have to stick to.
How Your Ex Will React To Being De-friended
Your ex can react in all sorts of different ways to you de-friending them, but it isn’t usually the way that you expect. You might think that you are making a loud and clear gesture to your ex, “look what you have lost!”, but in reality if your ex was the one who ended the relationship, this will not have as much impact on them as you had hoped. They may actually expect you to de-friend them because of the way you took the breakup. They may think that it is a natural part of the breakup process and that you will pull the plug eventually.
Your ex might be relieved that you have deleted them. Think about it. It saves them the dilemma of having to decide whether to do it themselves. Maybe they think that it is best to not be friends with you on Facebook anymore, but don’t know how to press the delete button. If they were the ones that wanted to end your relationship then hurting you further by deleting you is not what they want to do. That would just be another slap in the face. Perhaps they view staying friends with you as unhealthy and think that a clean break is the best alternative. They are waiting for you to think the same thing and take the decision out of their hands. Then they will feel no guilt as it was you who took the decisive action. So before you delete your ex in the hopes that it will make them regret the breakup and be as hurt as you, think twice. You many just be giving your ex the ‘out’ that that they have been wishing for.
Your ex may never want to speak to you again. Deleting your ex from Facebook is a pretty drastic and definitive move. It will send a very clear message that you are angry with them and that you do not want them in your life anymore. Your ex will react strongly to this. They could see it as a snub or a further rejection. After a breakup emotions run very high. It is easy to say or do something rash that you quickly regret. Put yourself in your ex’s position, how would you feel if they deleted you immediately after the breakup? You’d be hurt, incensed, confused, angry and affronted. You would then want to reject the person that hurt and rejected you. This is what your ex will want to do too.
The natural thing for your ex to do next is to ignore you completely and never speak to you again. They will be trying to get back to you the only way that they know and get a reaction out of you. If you hit that delete button you should expect that there is a chance that your ex will want to delete you from their life too. The hurt that you could cause could be even tougher than the breakup as they will think that it is now final. Think carefully.
Your ex may view you as childish and pathetic. If you use the deletion tool as a way to send your ex a message or to try to exact revenge on them, it will be glaringly obvious to your ex what you are doing. This will be even more evident if you took the break up badly. Reacting erratically or impulsively will only make you look bad. If you really want to delete your ex then you should wait at least a month before doing so, otherwise it will look like an emotional reaction.
If you want to get your ex back in the future then you want to avoid any kind of negative behaviours that will make you look pathetic. If your ex pities you or thinks that you are mentally unhinged they will not be attracted to you. You will effectively be destroying any chance you have of getting them back down the road. Instead you will want to work on attracting your ex by being mature, reasonable and well balanced. Then they will question whether the breakup was a good idea.
If you still have any sort of respect for your ex and want them to respect you, then deleting them will make them see you as childish, especially if it follows the breakup quickly.
Your ex might laugh at your attempts to get their attention. If your ex has an opinion about themselves or is convinced that you still love them, they will assume that your attempts to delete them are because you are hurting and that you want to get their attention. Someone with a huge ego will never be convinced that you just deleted them because you wanted to move on. They will think that your whole life still revolves around them.
If you have been fighting or relationship between you have been strained after the breakup, your ex will immediately think that you are trying to get their attention and provoke a reaction from them. This can make you look kind of sad or desperate. The horrible thing is that your ex could be laughing behind your back to friends about what you are up to, thinking that they have gotten you all sussed out. The last thing that you want is to be the butt of his jokes. You deserve more than that.
Your ex might think that you are no longer interested.
The worst thing that could happen is that your ex sees their deletion as a finality and moves on with their life. If you were hoping to scare your ex into losing you for good by deleting them, your plan could backfire in spectacular style. Finding out that your ex (who you still have feelings for) has deleted you is a huge blow and shock to the system. This pain is even more acute if they harbored hope of getting back together with you in the future. They will see it as a snub, a sign that you have already moved on and they should do the same.
If you want your ex back and are hoping to sustain any kind of friendship with them, de-friending them could have a very negative impact. Don’t hurt your ex any further than you already have if it is at all possible. If you are still interested in your ex then deleting them is not the right path for you. Staying off Facebook for a while is a much wiser and more effective route.
Your Next Step – How To Make Your Ex Want You
This system was designed specifically for people like you who are trying to get their exes back. It will show you how to make your ex miss you like mad by doing things that you wouldn’t expect would work.
Brad Browning will show you how to decipher what your ex says and does to work out if they still have feelings for you or if you stand a chance with them. He also talks you through effective and powerful psychological techniques that will make your ex desire you again and want to give the relationship another try.
What you have been doing up until now hasn’t worked. You need to be able to get inside your ex’s head to understand what they want from you, what they will find attractive and what will make them crave you. Now is the time to start doing everything correctly in order to get the best results. If you make any more mistakes with your ex there is a real danger that they will go off you for good and move on. Don’t allow this to happen. Click below to watch the introductory video and find out more about the system.