Sex With Your Ex To Get Them Back – Does It Work?
You probably find yourself missing your active sex life that you had with your ex. You may find yourself reminiscing or reliving those special intimate moments in your head over and over again. You might even remember it better than it actually was because you have rose tinted glasses on about your ex right now.
Going from having an active sex life to having no sex at all can be a very difficult adjustment to make. Many people in your position cannot make the adjustment at all and keep going back to their ex to fulfill their physical needs. This is quite common, but is it healthy and will it make your ex want to get back together with you?
Sometimes people lose complete control of their senses after a breakup and sleep around to try and feel wanted again. You have sexual needs that need to be met, so it is only normal that you want to feel loved and wanted. Going from person to person, trying to replicate the love that you had with your ex, is only going to end in disaster. You will never feel whole, loved or fulfilled emotionally or physically. In fact, you will feel a whole lot worse than you did before. The only person that you want is your ex and you know this deep down. This void that you are feeling now can only be filled with your ex, so stop and think carefully before you go down the route of sleeping around to feel wanted again.
Why Do People Sleep With Their Ex?
It is quite normal for people to sleep with their ex after the breakup. This is even more common if you had the kind of relationship where you were breaking up and making up all the time. If there was no definitive line drawn in the sand and you are used to having firey arguments with each other and forgetting it a few days later, having sex is just part of the process for you. This happens a lot in passionate relationships where there is a strong sexual connection and a lot of lust. Sometimes you cannot keep your hands off each other even if you know that you aren’t right for each other in other ways.
These kinds of relationships can be the most obsessive and unhealthy where fighting and getting back together is expected. Maybe you both like these kinds of emotional highs and lows as they are what make you feel alive. You have to ask yourself though if this type of relationship is sustainable in the long run. Sure, the sex is great and you are compatible in that department, but what impact is all the volatility having on you emotionally and mentally?
Another reason that people sleep with their ex is because they feel lonely after the breakup. When you always have someone there to cuddle up to at night or make you feel warm and wanted, it is a huge shock to have that suddenly taken away from you. Your ex will be feeling the same way. It is a big transition to make and you may find each other going back and forth not really knowing where you both stand.
The emotional ties that you both share together don’t just disappear overnight. You will be drawn towards your ex sexually for many weeks and months after the break up. Sex brings two people closer together and being intimate with someone that you still have feelings for is a natural desire. It is not just a physical act though, there are emotions involved.
Have you ever heard of a ‘friends with benefits’ situation? This can be suitable for both parties if you both know exactly where you stand and you both have no feelings left for each other. You know your ex well and it can be comfortable to sleep with them rather than going out and having one night stands with strangers. To some people it seems like the perfect alternative when you want to have sex. You have to think carefully about this though. Friends with benefits usually leaves one or both of you with a bitter taste in their mouths because it is difficult to know what the the other person is thinking or what they expect.
Warning – Why You Shouldn’t Have Sex With Your Ex
Maybe your ex has suggested that you get back together for old time’s sake. A quick romp can’t do any harm can it? It can even be really enjoyable at the time, but what happens afterwards when you have that chat about where you stand? Will it not be awkward?
Having sex with someone that you used to have feelings for, or still do, is a really big mistake…especially if they do not feel the same about you. If they have made things clear that it is only sex and a bit of fun, you can’t come over all needy and emotional when they act distant and uninterested afterwards. Sex will not be the bandage that will fix your breakup and bring the two of you back together. Yes, it is an intimate act that could make you feel close to your ex again, but why risk the certainty of being crushed when your ex doesn’t want a romantic or emotional relationship with you?
Having sex with your ex will make you feel wanted and good at the time, but soon afterwards you will feel like you have been used, even if you are both clear about what you doing. Sex makes you emotionally bond with someone, it is difficult to keep the feelings separate unless you are a cold machine-like person. You probably know this yourself.
When you have sex with your ex you could run the risk of making them think that you are easy. For your ex to want you back and desire you they have to respect you first. If they think that they can just click their fingers and get you to sleep with them, respect is one thing that they will definitely NOT have for you. Be honest with yourself here. You want your ex to love you and think that you are special. You want them to think that you are worth the effort of wooing and romancing. For your ex to treat you like you want to be treated, you have to follow through with your behaviour and make them see that you are worth more than a quick romp or a one night stand. You want a relationship with your ex right? Then you have to think of the bigger picture and the long haul, not just the instant pleasure of a quick fumble. Everything worth having is worth waiting for. Make your ex work for intimacy with you, they will only appreciate you more and see your worth as a result.
Giving your ex the wrong idea about you is detrimental to your quest to get them back. They will think that they can have what they want without the added responsibilities of what a loving relationship entails. Essentially they will be having their cake and eating it. Sex on tap with someone they know and don’t have to woo. No attachments or expectations is a win win for them. You are basically training your ex to treat you in a certain way and this type of negative behaviour will be hard to break. You will be showing your ex what you are prepared to put up with to have them back in your life in any capacity. How will your ex desire you or see you as a potential partner if you do not even value yourself enough to know that you deserve better? I’m sorry, it just wont happen.
Girls especially have this warped and misguided notion that sex will bring them back together with their ex boyfriends eventually. It is an emotional bond for women, more so than men. You will only be sorely disappointed when you learn that your ex boyfriend doesn’t view sex with you as a chance to bond with you. Don’t fall into this trap or it could damage you mentally and emotionally and completely ruin your chances of getting your ex back.
Another reason why it isn’t a good idea to sleep with your ex is because emotions are still raw after the breakup and you will be confused. You may find yourself fantasizing about your ex a lot after the breakup. It is only natural to look back at the good times and romanticise how passionate and fulfilling your sex life was. You miss the intimacy with your ex and you would do anything to get that back. This will ultimately mean that you make rash decisions based on emotions without thinking things through and considering the impact that they will have.
Things can quickly get out of control when you are with your ex and you could find yourself kissing and cuddling again. Don’t give into temptation if you want to have a long-term reunion with your ex. If you feel like you cannot control yourself with your ex, then it is better to avoid being with them physically until you have time to reflect and get your feelings under control. Remember that once you do something it cannot be undone. Think carefully.
Benefits Of Having Sex With Your Ex
All that being said, sometimes having sex with your ex does work for people. Maybe you could be one of the lucky ones. A lot of exes can continue to sleep with each other in the weeks and months after their relationship comes to an end. They do this in an effort to fulfill their physical and emotional needs with someone that they know well and are comfortable with.
Sleeping with your ex could happen at any time. If you find that you both break up and make up a lot, sex with an ex just seems normal and the quickest route to reuniting with your ex. It also tends to happen after weeks of being apart when you really miss and crave your ex. Sometimes the physical need for intimacy and connection supersedes common sense and you find yourself getting back in touch with an ex for old time’s sake.
Apart from the morality question, being sexually intimate with your ex again has its upsides. There is an emotional bond between both of you and this will all come flooding back when you have sex with them again. Sex is not just a physical act and you can quickly get entangled in the romantic aspect of intimacy.
If you hope to get your ex back then sometimes sex can help you achieve this. Sometimes the yearning and desire for an ex can be so strong that getting back together for sex can feel like it did when you first did it with them. The magic and passion can be powerful and exciting. If your ex still wants to have sex with you then there is a good chance that they still desire you physically. It is the emotional bonds that you have to work on however if you want to get any kind of commitment from your ex and reignite a proper relationship.
Having sex with your ex too early after the breakup can sabotage your chances of getting back together. You want to leave it until you both miss each other and the physical intimacy that you once shared. Jumping back into bed with an ex is always a bad idea if it is done without thinking about the potential consequences. There is a danger with sex too soon for other reasons also. When you sleep with your ex it can give them security, comfort and emotional fulfillment. These are not things that you want to give your ex immediately after the breakup because they will not feel like anything has changed and they will become comfortable with this new arrangement. The last thing that they will want to do is make an effort to change things and commit to you because you are giving them what they need now. Have some self respect for yourself and realise that you are worth the effort.
If you really want your ex to want you back then relying on sex to do it is not advisable. Sex should be reserved for people who are emotionally, intellectually and spiritually connected to one another. If you stick to your guns with this you are showing to your ex that they cannot have sex without commitment. This is how it should be in a healthy and ‘normal’ relationship.
The Different Types Of Post Break Up Sex
Essentially there are two different kinds of post breakup sex that you can have with your ex.
Number one, is that sex is just for fun. This type of situation is ‘friends with benefits’ which can last for weeks or it can happen as a one off. In reality you are both using each other because it is the easy thing to do. You are both familiar with each other and feel safe. You don’t have to go through the whole meeting and getting to know someone before you establish a sexual relationship with them, it is already there. You think that there is no harm in this type of arrangement and that it can’t hurt.
The reality is that it can and will hurt one or both parties. It has both got its benefits and drawbacks and you have to be mature enough to know what you are getting into. One of the disadvantages of having a sexual relationship with an ex is that someone could be getting their hopes up for a reconciliation and think that sex is the best way to cement this reunion. If you were the one that was dumped and you want to get back together, sleeping with your ex is probably not the best way to go about things.
The second type of sexual encounter that you can have with your ex is make up sex. This is when you are physically intimate before you work at putting your relationship back on track. When you both crave each other and have missed each other, this kind of sex can be overwhelming and passionate and enough to fix the breakup. You have to know what kind of sex it is though before proceeding or you could get a huge slap in the face if your ex doesn’t feel the same.
Will Your Ex Want You Back If You Have Sex With Them?
Probably one of the biggest misconceptions that people have is that they will automatically be anted again once they have sex with their ex. I’m afraid that it doesn’t work this way. The last thing that you want to do is to appear too easy or seem like you do not value yourself. Sex does not always equate to desire. Look at all of the one night stands that people are rushing to experience because they are lonely and trying to fill a hole. Just because an ex is choosing to sleep with you again it doesn’t mean that everything is back to normal and that they love you. It could be quite the opposite in fact. They may not care about you enough to NOT use you. How cheap will you feel then?
Most of the time sex means two different things to two different people. Whilst it may mean the world to you, it could be completely meaningless to your ex and they may just want to get off or have a quick fumble with anyone who will oblige. Unfortunately this can only lead to one thing – resentment, anger, a broken heart and the horrific feeling of being used.
The bad news is that sex alone will not get you both back together. Trying to lure your ex back with the promise of sex is cheap and nasty. Dropping your pants on command will never foment your relationship or build the type of commitment that you crave for. You have to remember that you are looking for a relationship, not a one night stand. If your ex doesn’t respect you then there will be no relationship – it’s that simple.
Communicating in more effective ways than using your body is a must if you hope to get back this relationship. You need to learn things from scratch and build something worth fighting for, something that your ex will want as much as you. The videos below will help with that.
Your Next Steps – Create Desire And Emotional Attachments
If you want to get your ex boyfriend back then you will have to understand male psychology and what awakens their sexual and emotional desire for you. There are certain psychological techniques that you can use on him that will make him feel the way he did about you when you first met.
Want to drive him crazy with constant thoughts of you? Want him to think about you non stop and start making an effort to chase you again? This can happen if you start doing the things that he secretly wants you to do.
Watch this video to learn all about why men pull away from women and why they start fantasising about other women. There are things that you can say and do in bed to make him want you like mad and want to commit to you again. If you want to give him the best sex he has ever had and never want to think about another woman again, you need to watch this video.
To get your ex girlfriend back you will have to get inside the female mind and understand what makes them attracted to a guy. Girls want to be chased and made feel like they are the only one you want. There are certain things that you can say and do to your ex girlfriend to make her like putty in your hands. This doesn’t involve any sleazy talk that makes you feel like a creep either. There are specific words and phrases that will drive her crazy for you and form intimate emotional bonds that will make her want you again.
Want to make her melt with your touch or your stare? Want to stop playing mind games and show her how you really feel without having to say a word? Even if you don’t want to get back with your ex girlfriend and are ready to move on with someone else, these seduction techniques are powerful and effective.