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How To Reverse How Your Ex Sees You

Before you can hope to shift an ex’s negative perspective of you, you need to open your mind to a few uncomfortable realities. It’s a given that your ex is going to see you differently after the breakup ends than they did while the two of you were still together – and there’s little that you can do about it. If you’ve contributed to these negative perceptions through your actions, this negative perception is exemplified even more. Your ex had a lot of expectations once things fell apart and you may have fed into those expectations without even thinking about it. Human nature is a hard instinct to overcome, especially on the brink of an incredibly negative experience like a breakup.

Right now, in the present, your ex’s assumptions about you seem set in stone and trying to change them feels like slamming repeatedly into a brick wall. You’ve probably realized that the more of a struggle you present up front, the more you wind up back at the starting gate. You’re not getting anywhere, and nothing you do seems to make anything any better. In fact, it makes them worse.

Perception plays a pivotal role in your overall options. If you’re hoping to get back together with your ex, then they clearly need to see you in a more positive light. You can’t force a change in perception, but you can utilize techniques that can gradually start to shift things in a better direction.

If you continue to act in a negative manner, you can expect an inherently negative reaction. Your ex sees you the way that you currently are – clingy, unwilling to let go and overall needy. Your behavior has probably done nothing to show them the side of you that they knew when they first met you. If you put the negative behaviors behind you and focus on more positive ones, you can expect a more positive result. You want your ex to see you as attractive again and in order to regain an attractive perception, you need to focus on attractive behaviors.

Be Willing to Examine Your Own Actions

If you want to look at the situation honestly, the first thing that you need to do is take a good, hard look at how you’re acting and make appropriate changes where necessary. What has your behavior said about you up to this point? If your behavior has left a negative taste in your ex’s mouth, then it’s clear that you need to start rethinking your approach.

Certain behaviors are not going to help your case, even if they seem innocent enough to you. You can’t continue contacting your ex hoping that things are going to be different if you just reach out and try to communicate one more time. You also can’t expect to win any respect points if you fall into the pity-party routine and do nothing to put yourself back out there and make a positive impact.

The only way that your ex is going to be willing or able to change their perception is if you give them an undeniable reason to. The only true way to accomplish that is to do something completely out of the ordinary that they never would have expected in the first place. Your ex thinks that they have you pegged down to a T. They think that they have the benefit of holding all of the cards. Show them that they’re wrong. Do something completely off the script. Put yourself out there and make an effort – while having a smile on your face. Your ex won’t know what hit them, and they’ll have no place to turn except to reevaluate everything that they thought they knew about breakups – and about you.

Cut Contact With Your Ex

That’s right, pull the plug. Let all of the nasty things that you said to your ex be sucked down the plug hole and start afresh. A clean slate. You need some separation from your ex if you are to change how they view you. Remember, it is not a switch that gets flicked overnight and suddenly your ex wants you again. Sadly, things are never that easy. It took a while for things to go downhill with your ex, their feelings towards you changed over time. So there is no immediate fix here either. You can make drastic leaps in changing your ex’s mind about you, but you have to go about it in a clever way. Most importantly, you have to be subtle. The last thing that you want is for your ex to know what you are up to. That would be a disaster.

The best thing for you to do right now is to take a step back from the situation and plan what your next moves are. Often it is difficult to think straight when you are emotional. You may very well end up sending your ex emotional and angry texts when you are in this state. This will do more harm. Remember, you are trying to reverse how they see you after the breakup, not confirm that they were right about you .

The safest way to achieve this is to get as much space between you both as possible. When you stop sending your ex texts and messages, calling them or bumping into them, you will lessen the risk of you saying something that you later regret. You need to keep a level head here and not give your ex the ammunition to hate you even more. Changing how your ex sees you starts with a break, at least then they will know that you are taking some time out to consider things and change your behaviour. This can only be a positive thing. You will be surprised how far this goes in changing how your ex sees you too.

 You Doth Protest Too Much

Usually, the more you try to convince your ex that you have changed or tell them that you are sorry, the less your ex believes you. Constantly telling your ex that things have changed, that you will not repeat your behaviour and that you are a different person now actually has the opposite affect. Your ex will view you negatively and you will come across as desperate and pathetic. You don’t want your ex to see you in this way either or start feeling sorry for you. You want their view towards you to be positive.

Your ex has probably learned to take everything that you say with a pinch of salt recently. You say one thing, and act an entirely different way. Can you blame them for not listening to you? Your words are hollow if they are not backed up by real action. If you want your ex to be serious about you and see a real difference, you have to show them that you are willing to change in practical terms. Show your ex that you have nipped the negative behaviour in the bud. This can sometimes be as simple as not saying negative things to your ex. Whatever you did to your ex to make them change their mind about you, you can fix it. You just have to be patient here and remember that apologies are all well and good, but you have to SHOW your ex how you have changed through your actions. Actions speak louder than words after all.

Bring About Renewed Respect

When your relationship ended, a lot of the natural respect that your ex had for you as a person took a temporary hiatus as well. This is a fundamental principle of breakup psychology, and it’s something that needs to be addressed if you hope to reclaim that lost respect and their attraction.

At some point you lost your ex’s desire. They started to see you differently than they did when you first got together, and that loss of attraction contributed to their decision to end things with you – whether you wanted it to or not. It’s entirely possible that you didn’t notice this gradual change as it was happening. It often happens beneath the surface and it’s not incredibly obvious unless you’re looking for it. Don’t blame yourself – it’s easy to miss, and it doesn’t mean that what happened between the two of you is all your fault.

By keeping a lot of the negative behaviors at bay, you can avoid a lot of the negative stigmas associated with post-breakup behavior. As you start evaluating your own actions, you need to look at one more thing in order to be able to move forward. Did the breakup shake your self-respect? Are you seeing yourself differently now as well? If so, then you need to work on your own sense of self as well. You can’t hope to regain someone else’s respect if you don’t respect yourself first. Find things that make you happy and focus on those. Bring your focus back to the positive realm rather than the negative one. Finding your own sense of happiness can be difficult in the aftermath of a breakup, but it’s an incredibly important step towards reclaiming your own sense of self – and changing the way that your ex sees you in the process.

What You Should Be Doing Next

Unfortunately, this is just the tip of the iceberg in making your ex see you in an attractive light again. There is so much more work that you have to do if you are serious about getting them back. There are proven psychological strategies that will compel your ex to pick up their phone and make contact with you again, no matter what has gone on in the past or what your ex has told you.

Making your ex want you is a crucial part of this process. So, how do you do that? That is where the experts step in. They have years of human psychology under their belts that will teach you how the mind works after a breakup, how to rekindle the desire that your ex once had for you and how to make your ex desperate for you. It is a specific system designed around their own research, for people in your situation. Watch this video to find out more about it and the other techniques that you should be implementing now to turn things around and make your ex see you like they used to.

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