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Attracting Back An Ex – Don’t Make These Fatal Mistakes

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Attracting back an ex after a breakup can sometimes seem like an impossible feat. Maybe your ex isn’t even talking to you anymore and they have made it quite clear that they have moved on. No matter how dismal your situation seems right now, there is always a chance that you can attract back your ex. You cannot leave it up to wild chance though. You have to make it happen and that means that you have to be honest in looking at your behaviour.

If you are not back with your ex yet, that means that thus far, what you have been doing is not attracting them back. It could be worse than that though, your behaviour may be pushing them further and further way. What you are doing could be seen as downright unattractive in the eyes of your ex. So now is the time to nip this negative behaviour in the bud and make your ex see you as they once did – charming, mysterious, lovable, attractive, fun and desirable.

Attracting your ex back is actually quite easy, once you know how. A huge advantage that you have is human psychology. When you understand how the opposite sex behaves after a breakup, you will begin to see things from your ex’s perspective and make them much more open to communication and a possible reunion with you.

The thing is, after a breakup occurs, most people have a tendency of doing and saying all of the wrong things that ultimately push away their ex. This is because emotions are high. You are afraid of losing them and you are going through a painful grieving process. The more that you act upon emotions, the more mistakes you will make with your ex. You have to take a step back and be rational about the situation. Avoiding the common pitfalls after a breakup will make your ex see you in a positive light. If you are serious about attracting back your ex, then the mistakes below must be avoided at all costs.

Stalking Your Ex Is A No No

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Stalking doesn’t necessarily mean the Hollywood version of you dressed up in a hoodie and camouflage, tapping your ex’s phone or following them down a dark-lit street at night. Stalking can take many forms, all of which are perturbing and frightening for your ex.

You may see your actions as normal, but rest assured, your ex sees things a very different way. Do you think that they wont notice if you tend to show up out of the blue? All of a sudden they are bumping into you, accidentally on purpose. You are hanging out at your ex’s work or college. You are showing up in all their favourite places, like you have suddenly developed a penchant for Pilates, yoga or kick boxing. Your ex isn’t stupid and you shouldn’t be either.

How do you think it will look to your ex if they end up seeing you everywhere they go? What are you expecting here? A huge smile and a kiss? Sadly, it usually has the opposite affect and your ex will very likely end up speeding down the street to avoid you. You don’t want that.

Your ex’s view of stalking will be very different to yours post breakup. You may think that your actions are subtle and innocent, that you are only trying to get a glimpse of your ex again because you miss them so much. Your ex hasn’t suddenly gone blind though. Their emotions will be heightened since the split too and this means that they will be super sensitive to everything you say and do. They will be keeping an eye on your behaviour from afar. This is only natural. Your ex will be curious about how you are coping without them. The last thing that you want them to think is that you have taken to stalking them and cannot bear to be without them. This will set huge alarm bells off for your ex.

Let’s take a step for a moment and see how your current behaviour looks to your ex. Right now you are only seeing things from your perspective because you are hurting and confused. This is normal. However, if your ultimate aim is to attract your ex back, you have to start seeing things from their point of view. How you see your behaviour will change quickly and you will see the damage that you are doing to your chances of getting them back.

Stalking doesn’t just occur physically either. You need to reassess the tabs that you are keeping on your ex through social media. If you are becoming obsessive about your ex and checking their every move n Facebook, seeing when they are online on whattsapp, or scrolling through their accounts to see their latest updates, things have gotten out of hand.

With sites like Facebook, it has become way too easy to stalk an ex and check up on everything that they are doing and who they are doing it with. You will drive yourself mad, start getting emotional, paranoid and irrational and this will manifest itself outwardly with more stalking behaviour. This is far from attractive to your ex. It will only lead to pity, fear and wariness on their part and cement in their minds that the breakup should have happened long before it did.

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You probably feel safe, hidden behind the computer screen, thinking that your ex will have no clue that you are patrolling their pages. You are playing with fire and are going to get badly burned. Eventually, you will slip up and get emotional about something your ex said, or a picture they posted with someone else. Your reaction will be to lash out in anger and hurt. Then your ex will know that you have been watching their every move since the breakup, you could be blocked and shunned completely too. Not only that, your desperation, clingyness and refusal to let go will be all too apparent. These are unattractive traits that your ex will be strongly turned off by. You stand no chance of attracting back your ex if you sink to these depths.

To be attractive to your ex again you need to pretend that you aren’t that bothered about what is happening in their life. It has to look as if you have already moved on, that you are mature and busy and have no emotional attachments to them. I know that this seems counter-intuitive. Why would you act like you don’t care about your ex when you do? This is a powerful psychological strategy that will make your ex quickly reassess how they feel about you. They secretively want you to be pining over them still. Their ego demands that you don’t get over them before they do. When it looks as if you aren’t that interested in them anymore, your ex will suddenly panic and start seeing you as attractive and mysterious again. People will always want what they cannot have.

You need to get your ex to a point that they realise that they are not over you and that those old romantic feelings are still there. Recreating a sense of mystery and excitement again is key to attracting back an ex. So, when you refuse to play the stalking game, you are already subconsciously pulling your ex back into your life. All you need is some self control and patience.

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Constant Contact Is A Bad Idea

Calling and texting your ex after you have broken up is a normal part of the break up process. You can take things too far though and end up harassing them with constant texts and emails. You have broken up, so your contact with your ex has to change too, it’s inevitable. You cannot expect to call them up at the drop of a hat lie you used to, or spend hours texting back and forth about your day. That just isn’t going to happen.

There is a readjustment phase with your ex, and the faster you learn to cut contact the better. Your ex already knows that you have taken the breakup badly, that it wasn’t your decision to end things. So, naturally your ex will expect you to hound them with texts, messages, emails and calls in the days and weeks after you have parted ways. Maybe your ex’s ego secretly wants you to still pins after them. What you are ding here though is giving all of your power over to your ex. They hold all of the cards right now, the ball is in their court and they can keep you hanging for as long as they so choose. Your ex may decide to keep you waiting for a day or two for a reply to your text. It is all an elaborate mind game and you have played a huge part in becoming a pawn.

Think for a second how damaging this is to your self worth. You already feel bad enough about the breakup, but to add insult to injury, you are waiting by your phone like a lost puppy, for any kind of response from your ex. This is not healthy and you know it. Stop relying on your ex to feel good about yourself, because you will be waiting for an eternity. It is time to be proactive, have self respect and nip this negative behaviour in the bud. The last thing that you want is for your ex to think that they have you right in the palm of their hands, that they can control you, still have the power to hurt you or get you back if they so choose. When your ex feels this way they will be in no hurry to act at all. They can take their time and play you as much as they like. Your ex is not panicking or fearful that they are about to lose you for good, not when you are still contacting them often.

You also should be aware of how constant text messages and calls look to your ex. If they have made it clear that they are not interested in getting back together and want space, how do you think they will react to hearing from you every day? Truth be told, they will soon get sick of it. They will see you as desperate and clingy, unable to let go. They may even start to pity you and cut you out of their life completely, for your own good. When your ex starts ignoring you, it is time to change direction and stop what you are doing.

“Why Aren’t You Replying To Me? Did You Get My 1000 Messages?!”

In the forefront of your mind should be trying to be attractive to your ex. Do you think your pleading texts will achieve your goal? You must see that this is incredibly unattractive to your ex. They will start to dread the ringer on their phone, or seeing your name pop up on their screen. They just don’t know what to say to you anymore because you refuse to give them the space that they need.

Instead of humiliating yourself any further, dig deep for some self control and cut contact completely. This is something that your ex didn’t expect from you. It shows strength and resilience, attractive qualities that are bound to make your ex sit up and take notice of you again. Think back to when you first got together. There was a period of extreme excitement before you both admitted how you felt. Your ex couldn’t stop thinking about you, or you about them. The attraction between you both was off the charts. You can recreate this attraction if you go about it the smart way. Attraction has a lot to do with the thrill of the chase. Not knowing how the other person feels about you is thrilling. This tension and excitement is what you should be concentrating on getting back. Your ex wants to chase you, so you need to stop doing the chasing.

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Instead of sitting by the phone, waiting for scraps from your ex. Get up, get out and get busy. You need to appear like you are moving on to the outside world. This commands respect from everyone around you, not just your ex. They will be on the lookout for what you are doing once you are not contacting them all the time. They will start to wonder where you are and if you are okay. They will begin to feel feelings that they thought were long gone. When they start to miss you and pine over you, control is back in your hands as they are the ones that will have to make the next move to prevent losing you for good. Before long the tables will be turned and they will be the ones reaching out to you for reassurance. The best part about all of this is, is that you didn’t have to do anything at all, just disappear for a while. Your ex will think that getting back together was all their idea too.

It is easy to see that just examining your own behaviour will drastically improve your chances of attracting your ex back to you. Step into their shoes for a bit and you will soon see where you have been going wrong. Then all that you have to do is implement psychological techniques that pique your ex’s interest in you again and make you look attractive. Then it is just a waiting game. Kind of simple, eh?

Trying To Make Your Ex Jealous Is A Mistake

The most damaging thing that you can do after a breakup is use the jealousy tactic clumsily. You are acting on hurt and anger to get any kind of a reaction from your ex, but ultimately you will end up shooting yourself in the foot and driving an even bigger wedge between the pair of you. At the end of your relationship you are desperate to hold onto your ex, you will do, say or try anything to prevent that from happening. You turn to the jealousy game, thinking that your ex will run back to you pleading for you to take them back. Rarely is this the case though.

There is already an awful lot of hurt and confusion when you split, so adding fuel to the fire and causing your ex more pain will only serve to make them hate you more. They will not want to be anywhere near you if you are parading your new love interest in front of them. How insensitive can you get? Not only will the trust be destroyed between you, your ex will soon hate you and block you from their phone, emails, Facebook etc. They will only be relieved that they found out exactly what you were, reaffirming in their mind that the breakup was a good idea.

Remember that you are trying to make your ex attracted to you again. You want to open up the lines of communication again and get your ex to want to talk to you. That is not going to happen if you are posting pics on Facebook with your new date or insinuating that you are interested in someone else all the time. You will look like a cold-hearted, selfish and disdainful twat to your ex – the exact opposite of what you are trying to achieve.

People tend to use jealousy in a really clumsy and obvious way. This always backfires and never gets you the results that you want. If your ex isn’t hurt and angry with you for trying to make them jealous, it doesn’t mean that you have won either. Another reaction that you could get from your ex is one of self pity and disdain. Your ex is not stupid. They do know you better than anyone, so why do you think that they will not realise what you are up to? You stand a very real chance of looking like a childish, immature fool who is trying to exact revenge on their ex for hurting them. That is not very attractive, is it?

The more obvious that you are about trying to make them jealous, the more obvious it will be to them that you are trying to manipulate them into giving you a reaction. They will know that you are doing it for their benefit and actually find it quite amusing. You will then look tragic and pitiful in their eyes, desperately trying to cling onto them. Instead of letting yourself be humiliated like this in front of your ex, it is better to do nothing at all. These childish tactics will only worsen your ex’s opinion of you and make a romantic reunion downright impossible.

Your Next Step – Ramping Up The Attraction Factor

attract your ex backNow that you are aware of some of the behaviours that you should be avoiding, you must ratchet the attraction up to the next level with your ex. Learning about the psychology of your ex after the split is crucial if you want to make them see you in an attractive light again. A lot of this has to start with making your ex miss you.

To speed up the reconciliation process you need a plan of action in place. There are certain things that you should be doing right now to make your ex crave you again, just like they used to. These subtle yet powerful psychological techniques garner positive results. Taking back control of the situation will give you the confidence that you need to make your ex attracted to you again. All is not lost, not by a long shot.

Brad Browning will show you what you have been doing wrong and give you the tools necessary to make your ex be the one chasing you. Watch the video to your right to learn more.

 

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