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Archive for the ‘Contact With Your Ex’ Category

My Ex Boyfriend Is Ignoring Me – What Do I Do Now?

It is common in a lot of relationship breakups. You wait for him to call, you sit clutching your phone, waiting for a text. You check your social media constantly, thinking that you have missed something. But there’s nothing. It is as if he has disappeared off the face of the planet. Not only is this incredibly painful, but it is proving more and more difficult for you to keep away from him. Every urge in you is telling you to pick up the phone. An innocent text to see how he is shouldn’t hurt, should it? 

The sad truth is that it will hurt. It will hurt you, and badly. If your ex boyfriend is ignoring you, he is doing it for a reason. Sending him constant texts and emails will not work in your favour. In fact, it can have the opposite effect that you want. If you think that you can coerce your ex boyfriend into talking to you again, you need a reality check. I’m afraid that it doesn’t work that way.

The thing is, you want him to want to contact you again. You don’t want him to feel guilty and forced into talking to you again. This will just be awkward and make him feel sorry for you. It will negatively impact your chances of getting him back too. It is a fine line to walk, but it can be done. You can actually make him eager to contact you, just like it was in the old days, when you first got together.

You have to go about this completely differently if you want him to stop ignoring you and actually want to communicate with you again. The good news is that this is possible and it is actually kind of easy once you start to understand male psychology. But more about that later. First you need to understand why your ex boyfriend ignores you, so that you can nip this behaviour in the bud and open the channels of communication again.

Why Your Ex Boyfriend Is Avoiding You

Things are never quite what they seem. Just because your ex boyfriend is ignoring you, it doesn’t mean that he hates you are he wants you to disappear. It could be quite the opposite in fact. After a relationship breakdown emotions are fraught, your feelings are confused and you just need time to process what has happened. This is natural.

He Is Confused

Do you think he just turned his feelings off for you like a tap? Luckily it doesn’t work like that. Even if he was the one who broke up with you, he will be dealing with a lot of residual feelings for you and trying to process them. It is likely that he is confused about these mixed feelings, so taking himself away from you seems like the best solution right now. He cannot work out how he really feels about you if he is always around you, that would be too hard for him. He needs space too.

He Feels Awkward Around You

Another reason why your ex boyfriend is ignoring you after the breakup is because things feel awkward. You feel this awkwardness too, don’t you? It is hard to know how he should interact with you in the days and weeks after your split. You can hardly go back to how things were, affection and normal conversation are a bit too much to ask. Both of your feelings are hurt. This awkwardness will dissipate over time, but right now respecting his space is key. You want to give him the time to come to terms with what has happened and come to the conclusion that he misses you. He cannot miss you if you are constantly in touch with him, can he? The more you text or call him, the more he will retreat into himself. Take a step back now if you are to have any chance of winning him back down the road.

He Is Trying To Protect You From More Hurt

Perhaps he just doesn’t want to see you upset. Every time you see eachother after the break up, there are tears, too many questions, confusion and anger. No one wants to face that all the time. Maybe all of the heightened emotions are too much for him to deal with at the moment. He doesn’t know what to say to you to make you feel better, so he has taken the decision to detach from you until your emotions have calmed down. The last thing that he wants to do is to apologise constantly for what went wrong or feel under pressure to answer a barrage of questions from you. It is just too awkward. The more pressure that you put on him to talk, the more likely he is to clam up and skulk off into dark corners, leaving you even more confused.

He Wants To Make You Suffer

It is difficult to face up to, but perhaps your ex boyfriend wants to make you suffer. Maybe a lot of ugly and nasty things were said when you were breaking up. It’s normal. Things get said in the heat of the moment when both parties are emotional, things that cannot be unsaid. He will remember everything that came out of your mouth and he could still be reeling from it. He has feelings too. You still have the capacity to hurt him deeply with your words. He will care what you think of him, despite your breakup.

He Is Trying To Provoke A Reaction

Wanting to punish your ex is a typical reaction to a breakup. One that is all too common. Maybe he wants to get a reaction from you and feels that ignoring you is the most effective method there is. The more you add fuel to the fire, by nagging him and sending him texts, the more he will feel justified in ignoring you. You are telling him very clearly that his technique is working well and that he should keep it up. He expects you to progressively get more and more desperate to hear from him. He wants an emotional response from you. DON’T GIVE HIM WHAT HE WANTS! Take the high road and act like it doesn’t matter. You will soon see a change in behaviour from him. When panic sets in that you are not bothered anymore.

He Is Grieving

Your Boyfriend is going through a mourning period. Breaking up is a grieving process and it takes time. He probably is angry towards you, has all of these confused feelings and bottled up hurt. It will take some time before you hear from him again. He could want to do things on his own terms and make you wait. Sometimes you have to accept this and be patient. The more that you push, the more you will be hit with a blank screen and an empty inbox.

He Thinks You Are Crazy

Another reason why an ex boyfriend ignores his ex girlfriend is kind of obvious. I hate to say it, but he could just want to get away from you because he thinks you are crazy. Admit it. You have been barraging him with emotional messages, sending him emails, contacting him on Facebook and asking his friends how he is. Heck, you have probably stalked him in the hope to just ‘accidentally’ bump into him. You foolishly thought that he wouldn’t notice, that you were being subtle. Sadly, he will be watching you and your behaviour very closely after the breakup. He will know what you are up to and he will be starting to get alarmed.

It is normal to be an emotional wreck post breakup, but you cannot let him see you like this. Please refrain from sending him romantic, angry or pleading texts. Not only will it make you look highly unattractive and desperate, he will begin to see you as mentally unstable and worry for his own wellbeing. The last thing that he wants is for him to leave his home and find you standing there with a long range camera in the bushes, trying to get a glimpse of him and figure out where he is off to.

The more you try to contact him and find out how he feels, the more crazy and unstable you will look to him. He will be afraid of you at worst, and pity you at best. You don’t want him to feel either of these things if you want to get back together. He has to be attracted to you and this won’t happen if you are behaving like a crazed lunatic who has just escaped from a mental asylum. Take a step back, or four, and honestly ask yourself how your behaviour looks to your ex. Then you can start to change the way your ex boyfriend sees you and make headway in winning back his heart.

You Have to Make Him Want To Talk To You

You can’t do this through romantic pleas or using coercion and manipulation. You have to be cleverer than this. The best way is to make him want to reach out and contact you of his own volition. Make him think that it is own choice. Not through guilt or pity either, but because he genuinely misses you and wants to see what you are up to. You may think that this is an impossible task given that you have already made a massive fool of yourself and he seems completely adverse to any communication with you. Never fear though, you can turn things around when you understand a little bit about male psyche.

If you play your cards right, he could be sending you a text within the next week. It is up to you, the more self control you have, the quicker you will see a text from your ex boyfriend in your inbox.

The truth is, your ex boyfriend has read all of the texts you have sent him. He has listened to your drunk voicemails that you wish you could erase. He has seen all of your posts on Facebook and your social media updates. He even knows that you have been asking his friends and family about him. He knows it all, every sordid detail. Unfortunately you cannot take these actions back or hit a reset button in his brain so that he forgets completely about these things. What you can do now is to change how he views you for good.

The easiest way to do this to stop communicating with him completely. That’s right. Pull the plug. Go incognito for a while, make him think that you have fallen down a big black hole never to be seen again. This just doesn’t mean that you stop sending him personal texts and messages. Oh no. You have to go the whole hog here. Your Facebook and other social media platforms will not be seeing you for a while either. I am serious about this, and you should be too if you really want him back.

Staying off social media, snap chat etc, is a VERY POWERFUL strategy in winning back his affections. Not only will it make him sit up suddenly and take notice of you again, it will make him start to wonder, where has she gone? Is she alright? Is she over me? Is she seeing someone new? Why is she suddenly ignoring me now? See how effective this is? In one fell swoop you have managed to turn the tables on him and taken the power back. Now you are in control. That is a very liberating feeling and one that you should be using to its full potential.

Okay, so you have turned off your social media accounts, deactivated them even. Now you can start to make changes in your own life. You should be using this quiet time constructively. Think of it as YOU TIME. You deserve it after all of those countless hours blubbering into your pillow. Get back your confidence. Go out with friends, get an new outfit, a new haircut. Anything that makes you feel good about yourself again. If you start behaving like the old you, it will not go unnoticed by your ex boyfriend. Soon word will spread that you are happy, busy and social again. These are attractive traits remember. Sitting sulking and lamenting in your pjs is not the look you want to go for here.

You will be surprised just how effective these little changes can be. Before long, you will hear from your ex boyfriend. He has been used to your constant contact for weeks. Now it is dead silent. Eerily quiet. He doesn’t like it. His male ego is taking a knock as he realised that he is not getting the attention anymore. He secretly enjoyed the fact that he had you wrapped around his little finger, that you would jump if he said so. He wanted to be in control. He has lost that control now and you have taken it back. Now he has to make the effort and reach out to you.

Let’s take a second and learn what will be going through your ex boyfriend’s mind when you cease contact. Men are not complicated creatures. They will react largely in the same way when they don’t hear from you again. When your ex does contact you again, you can take it as a huge hint that he still has feelings for you, otherwise he just wouldn’t bother making the effort.

Your evident lack of interest and communication will send him off into panic mode. He will become extremely paranoid and his mind will be imagining all sorts. He pretty much counted on the fact that he would keep hearing from you and that he could snap his fingers whenever he wanted and you would come running. Now that you have made it clear that this isn’t going to happen, he is starting to worry. He will also start to experience a lot of paranoia at this stage. His mind will be imagining all sorts. Perhaps you have found a new guy and are out having fun, getting over him fast. Maybe you just don’t care about him anymore? Your feelings have changed and you have given up on him.

Either way, he won’t want you to forget about him if he still loves you. The very real threat of losing you for good will make him take fast and decisive action. He will have to reach out to you if he stands any chance of rekindling your relationship. Best thing is, you didn’t have to plead on him to contact you, he will do that all by himself. Reverse psychology is a powerful thing.

Making him miss you is key to getting him to stop ignoring you. How can he miss you if you are always there barraging him with calls and texts? It is a common misconception that your ex boyfriend will forget about you and move on if he doesn’t hear from you. Women think that they have to remind their exes that they still exist. Not so. Creating a sense of mystery is a good thing. Not being available all the time is attractive. Making him miss you is a very compelling feeling, one that will encourage him to act.

What To Do When Your Ex Boyfriend Contacts You

It is all well and good having a strategy in place to get your ex boyfriend to speak to you again, but what do you do when you hear that beep from his number? Do you ignore him and let him stew or do you tell him that you love him and want him back? It is crucial that you play it right if you want him back. There is no point in doing all that hard work cutting contact if you are going to blow it as soon as he calls. You need to take a proven approach.

Knowing what to say to him, how often to contact him, when to reply and how to act, are essential components in getting back your ex boyfriend. If he shows up at your door unexpectedly, you will need to know how to interact with him to leave him wanting more. Luckily there are proven psychological strategies that can drill into his mind. Ones that have been effective for thousands of other girls in your situation. It would be a bad idea to go into this blind and hope for the best. You might just find yourself back at square one with your ex boyfriend wanting nothing to do with you.

Being as prepared as possible will stop you from making embarrassing mistakes that will put him off you for good. There are psychologists that have done a lot of research into male psychology for you and will give you exactly what you need to know to get the best results. Don’t worry, they have cut out the boring sciency bits and get straight to the point. One such system is the Text Your Ex Back System. Based on years of psychological research, you can start to use simple texts to encourage your ex to love you again. It will break down exactly what to do in each situation. When to contact him, how long to wait between texts and what to say. That is not all though. There are so many more tricks and strategies that you should be using to get faster results. Click the video above to learn about your next steps and what you should be doing now to increase your chances of getting your ex boyfriend back.

 

Should You Delete Your Ex On Facebook After The Break Up?

Should You Delete Your Ex On Facebook After The Breakup?

imageThis is a question that loads of people have asked in your position. It is so hard to  know what the correct protocol is post break up. Does your ex want to hear from you again? Is it even appropriate to still be friends with someone who caused you pain and who you find it impossible to interact with? Will your ex think that you are desperate and hanging on in the hope that you will get back together? All of these questions will be racing through your mind right now as you are deciding hat to do about being facebook friends with your ex.

Understanding The Rules Of Being Facebook Friends With Your Ex

Deleting your ex on Facebook is a very drastic step and one that you should think very carefully about before diving headlong into disaster. It is easy to get carried away and act rashy on our emotions after a break up. You are hurting and wants show your ex that they no longer have a place in your life. It sends a very clear message to your ex that it is over and that you are ready to move on. Once you take this action though it is final and you cannot undo it. Therefore you have to think very carefully about what you are doing and if it is the right decision. This article will help you to decide if it is the right thing for you by talking you through the implications of deleting your ex from Facebook and how they will react.

The Importance Of Letting The Dust Settle

You have probably had the ipulse to go straight to your laptop r phone and delete your ex from Facebook loads of times. This inclination is especially strong straight after the break up, Your emotions are at an all time high, They could have said some really hurtful things and you want to show them that you don’t care and that they are no longer welcome in your life. The need for revenge can quickly overule common sense. Take a deep breath and think before you push that block or defriend button. Don’t act on impulse because the majority of people quickly regret doing so.

You need time to decide what the best thing to do is and think through your options and the implications of them. You have to ask yourself why you want to defirend your ex. Are there genuine reasons that you have weighed up in your mind? Are you just trying to hurt your ex the way that they hurt you by rejecting them? Acting childishly will make you look childish to your ex. You must make sure that you are doing it for the right reasons.

When you wait for a couple of weeks and let yourself calm down you will have a clearer head and know how to proceed. The last thing that you want to do is  to send your ex the message that there is no hope left for both of you or that you are aimmature and vengeful if you want to keep them in your life as a friend or get back together with them down the line. Once you defiriend your ex that is it – over. Imagine regretting your decision down the line and wanting your ex on your friend list again. Do you really think that your ex will accept your friend request when you cut them out of your life so callously? Think before you act.

Benefits Of Keeping Your Ex As A Facebook Friend

1-15-07FacebookIf you want any kind of relationship with your ex in the future then you should view Facebook as a positive tool to have a window into their life. It is easy to pull up your ex’s page and see what they are up to anytime you like. You can also gage how your ex is dealing with the breakup by what they say, the things that they post, and pics of nights out with their friends after the breakup. You would not be able to do this otherwise and would have to make the effort to question your ex yourself or ask his friends. This will only look like stalking and that you haven’t come to terms with the breakup. 

If you keep your ex as a friend on Facebook it will be a useful tool in getting them back if that is what you want in the future. You always want to keep a window into your ex’s life if you still love them and want to make things work. Once you take away that method of communication it is undoable. What are the chances that your ex will accept your friend request after you deleted them? They are very slim and you will look unstable and irrational in the process.

Facebook is a valuable tool in making your ex jealous and encouraging them to contact you again. You do not have to interact with your ex directly, but they will still find out what you want them to know. That is the beauty of it. You can make updates or upload pictures that allude to the fact that you are happy and getting on with your life. Your ex will notice the new you and start to question the breakup and miss you. You can literally use Facebook in hundreds of ways to lure your ex back into your life or make them realise what they have let go. De-friending your ex out of haste will prevent you from doing any of these things. 

Another benefit of keeping your ex as a Facebook friend is that they will maintain a good impression of you after the breakup. Maybe they expected you to immediately login to your account and delete them. When you prove them wrong you will ultimately rise in their estimation. You will show them that you are not the spiteful, hurt and angry ex that they expected you to be. This in turn will make them question the reasons behind the breakup and start to miss you. You want to be the kind of person that your ex wants to be around and what better way to demonstrate your maturity and rationality than by keeping your ex as a virtual friend? 

Benefits Of Deleting Your Ex

If the breakup was a messy or hurtful experience, the last thing that you will probably want to do is talking to your ex or keeping any kind of contact with them. If your ex hurt you really badly or did some unforgivable things then you will be driven to cut them out of your life for good. If they betrayed you then you will not want them to see how you are, what you are doing and be able to see the conversations that you are having with your friends. You want them gone and to cut them out of your life with a very sharp pair of scissors. 

If you decide to delete your ex then it could have many emotional benefits for you. It would be difficult at the start to completely lose touch with them and have no idea what they are up to. Sometimes this is for the best though. If you cannot see a future with them or cannot forgive them for what they have done, then making a clean break is your most sensible option. You want to protect yourself from anymore pain and keeping your ex as far away as possible from you is the only option sometimes. 

Deleting your ex can also help you to get over them much more quickly. No one is saying that it will be plain sailing and that as soon as you hit the delete button all of your pain will magically disappear. You have to be prepared for some tough days and weeks ahead and face the reality that you will want to contact your ex again and see how they are. If you do make a clean break then you will automatically change your mindset and stick to it. That makes you more motivated if you have an end goal in place and are determined not to let your ex back into your life. Ultimately you have to think about what is best mentally and emotionally for you. Only you can protect yourself from future pain and anguish. 

Wouldn’t it be great if you could turn back time and delete your ex out of existence before they had the chance to hurt you? Sadly, we cannot turn back time or delete our ex’s from our memories. There are however things that we can do to make the transition of being in a relationship, to becoming single, easier. 

When you delete your ex you will not have to look at their wall every day and lament over the fact that you are no longer in their life. You will not have to read between the lines of everything that they post and wade through the multitude of photos that they have been tagged in on fun nights out. How soul destroying would that be? It would eventually drive you mad and make you seethe with jealousy and rage. 

fbstalking16Deleting your ex will also prevent you from making a complete fool of yourself. You will eradicate the tendency to poke your ex, comment or like their posts, or message them when you are drunk or emotional. This kind of behaviour will render you desperate or stalkerish. That is the last way that you want to come across to your ex and your friends. Sometimes it is just best to cut complete contact with them to save face and stop you from doing and saying things that are emotionally driven.

Another great aspect of de-friending your ex is that you will send them a clear message that you no longer need or want them in your life. You will be taking back the power that the breakup stole from you. Once you take control of the situation again you will feel a lot better and have a better view of your future.

When your ex sees that you have de-friended them it will make them panic that you are not longer interested or it will make them angry. Either way, they will likely reach out to you to ask why you did it by text, email or phone. This will prove that you still have an affect on them and that they still have feelings for you as you have the ability to hurt them.

There is a small danger that your ex will see you as petty and spiteful if you de-friend them straight after your split. They may even laugh at your expense and expect you to come crawling back to them and apologising for your rash decision. How your ex views you after the break up shouldn’t really matter to you though if you are sure that it is over and you want nothing more to do with them. If you are certain, then hitting the de-friend button is a good choice, but it is final and one that you have to stick to.

How Your Ex Will React To Being De-friended

Your ex can react in all sorts of different ways to you de-friending them, but it isn’t usually the way that you expect.  You might think that you are making a loud and clear gesture to your ex, “look what you have lost!”, but in reality if your ex was the one who ended the relationship, this will not have as much impact on them as you had hoped. They may actually expect you to de-friend them because of the way you took the breakup. They may think that it is a natural part of the breakup process and that you will pull the plug eventually. 

Your ex might be relieved that you have deleted them. Think about it. It saves them the dilemma of having to decide whether to do it themselves. Maybe they think that it is best to not be friends with you on Facebook anymore, but don’t know how to press the delete button. If they were the ones that wanted to end your relationship then hurting you further by deleting you is not what they want to do. That would just be another slap in the face. Perhaps they view staying friends with you as unhealthy and think that a clean break is the best alternative. They are waiting for you to think the same thing and take the decision out of their hands. Then they will feel no guilt as it was you who took the decisive action. So before you delete your ex in the hopes that it will make them regret the breakup and be as hurt as you, think twice. You many just be giving your ex the ‘out’ that that they have been wishing for. 

Your ex may never want to speak to you again. Deleting your ex from Facebook is a pretty drastic and definitive move. It will send a very clear message that you are angry with them and that you do not want them in your life anymore. Your ex will react strongly to this. They could see it as a snub or a further rejection. After a breakup emotions run very high. It is easy to say or do something rash that you quickly regret. Put yourself in your ex’s position, how would you feel if they deleted you immediately after the breakup? You’d be hurt, incensed, confused, angry and affronted. You would then want to reject the person that hurt and rejected you. This is what your ex will want to do too. 

The natural thing for your ex to do next is to ignore you completely and never speak to you again. They will be trying to get back to you the only way that they know and get a reaction out of you. If you hit that delete button you should expect that there is a chance that your ex will want to delete you from their life too. The hurt that you could cause could be even tougher than the breakup as they will think that it is now final. Think carefully.

Your ex may view you as childish and pathetic. If you use the deletion tool as a way to send your ex a message or to try to exact revenge on them, it will be glaringly obvious to your ex what you are doing. This will be even more evident if you took the break up badly. Reacting erratically or impulsively will only make you look bad. If you really want to delete your ex then you should wait at least a month before doing so, otherwise it will look like an emotional reaction. 

If you want to get your ex back in the future then you want to avoid any kind of negative behaviours that will make you look pathetic. If your ex pities you or thinks that you are mentally unhinged they will not be attracted to you. You will effectively be destroying any chance you have of getting them back down the road. Instead you will want to work on attracting your ex by being mature, reasonable and well balanced. Then they will question whether the breakup was a good idea.

If you still have any sort of respect for your ex and want them to respect you, then deleting them will make them see you as childish, especially if it follows the breakup quickly. 

Your ex might laugh at your attempts to get their attention. If your ex has an opinion about themselves or is convinced that you still love them, they will assume that your attempts to delete them are because you are hurting and that you want to get their attention. Someone with a huge ego will never be convinced that you just deleted them because you wanted to move on. They will think that your whole life still revolves around them. 

If you have been fighting or relationship between you have been strained after the breakup, your ex will immediately think that you are trying to get their attention and provoke a reaction from them. This can make you look kind of sad or desperate. The horrible thing is that your ex could be laughing behind your back to friends about what you are up to, thinking that they have gotten you all sussed out. The last thing that you want is to be the butt of his jokes. You deserve more than that.

Your ex might think that you are no longer interested. 

The worst thing that could happen is that your ex sees their deletion as a finality and moves on with their life. If you were hoping to scare your ex into losing you for good by deleting them, your plan could backfire in spectacular style. Finding out that your ex (who you still have feelings for) has deleted you is a huge blow and shock to the system. This pain is even more acute if they harbored hope of getting back together with you in the future. They will see it as a snub, a sign that you have already moved on and they should do the same. 

If you want your ex back and are hoping to sustain any kind of friendship with them, de-friending them could have a very negative impact. Don’t hurt your ex any further than you already have if it is at all possible. If you are still interested in your ex then deleting them is not the right path for you. Staying off Facebook for a while is a much wiser and more effective route. 

Your Next Step  – How To Make Your Ex Want You

This system was designed specifically for people like you who are trying to get their exes back. It will show you how to make your ex miss you like mad by doing things that you wouldn’t expect would work.

Brad Browning will show you how to decipher what your ex says and does to work out if they still have feelings for you or if you stand a chance with them. He also talks you through effective and powerful psychological techniques that will make your ex desire you again and want to give the relationship another try. 

What you have been doing up until now hasn’t worked. You need to be able to get inside your ex’s head to understand what they want from you, what they will find attractive and what will make them crave you. Now is the time to start doing everything correctly in order to get the best results. If you make any more mistakes with your ex there is a real danger that they will go off you for good and move on. Don’t allow this to happen. Click below to watch the introductory video and find out more about the system.