Archive for the ‘Ex Is Dating Someone Else’ Category
It’s bad, really bad. You have just found out that your ex boyfriend has a new girlfriend. You thought that you were turning a corner with the breakup and accepting that you weren’t together anymore, then this news sets you back and brings all the old feelings that you had for him back to the surface. Although your situation may seem impossible right now, you have to realise that it will not always be this bad and there are things that you can do proactively to make him realise that he is making a mistake.
Are You Still In Love With Him?
The first thing that you need to ask yourself is if you really love your ex boyfriend or if you are just jealous that he has moved on before you have. It is easy to get envious and hate this new girl, feel rejected and betrayed and want to split them up. You have to ask yourself if you are trying to split them up for the right reasons though. Are you just a woman scorned who wants to get their own back or do you genuinely still have feelings for your ex boyfriend and want them back?
If you want to break them up out of spite then you should walk away now and bite your lip. It is difficult to let it go because you feel wronged and hurt, but you will be doing yourself no favours if you wade in there and spit venom. The last thing that you want is to look like a crazy ex girlfriend who can’t let go. Be the mature one and move on yourself. You will be glad down the line that you didn’t do anything rash and make yourself look demented in the process.
If you still love your ex boyfriend and can see a future with him, you will have work to do. You have to play the waiting game here and implement powerful strategies in the background to make your ex boyfriend see you as more than just a friend. It has to be his decision, you cannot force him to breakup with his new girlfriend. There are things that can be done though to speed up the process that make you look attractive, appealing and mature. A much better option isn’t it?
You Have To Be Patient And Wait
No matter how painful it is to watch your ex boyfriend with another girl, you cannot just walk up to him and declare your feelings hoping that he will swoop you up in his arms. Those things only happen in the movies, you have to be realistic here. Unfortunately there is not much that you can do when you find out that your ex boyfriend has a new girlfriend. You will have to be prepared to wait in the wings for the initial stages and bit your lip.
Your instinct is to stop his new relationship from becoming serious by telling him that you still have feelings for him or trying to cunningly to break them up. The fact is that the more you try to halt their relationship, the more you will push them both together. This is because your ex boyfriend will see you as unattractive and he will be more inclined to protect his new girlfriend against your jealousy. You CANNOT win him back in the opening phases of his new relationship because this ‘honeymoon phase’ is virtually indestructible. He will be happy and want to spend every minute with her. You just can’t compete with this right now so you have to accept it and walk away (for now anyway).
When you allow his new relationship to take its natural course you will be giving yourself time. Time is what you need to get your head around this tricky situation. It will also be beneficial to you too because you can work inwardly on improving yourself and being the most attractive version of you. The more time you have, the better. It will stop you from lashing out and saying something that you will quickly regret, it will also train you to know how to deal with a face to face confrontation with your ex boyfriend. Being prepared is necessary if you want to get your ex boyfriend back.
The Good News – Rebound Relationships
Yes, there is some good news in all of this. Have you ever considered the possibility that your ex boyfriend’s new relationship is merely a rebound? You have to work out the likelihood yourself by asking some questions. How long was it since you broke up that your ex boyfriend found himself a new girlfriend? If it was a matter of days to less than a month, it is very likely that you are dealing with a rebound relationship that will fizzle out in due course.
If you and your ex boyfriend were together for a long time then it is unnatural that he would be interested in moving on with someone else relatively soon after your breakup. You cannot just get over someone that you have spent so much time with in a number of days – it is not human. You also have to face the possibility that your ex boyfriend is using this new girl to try and make you jealous. Developing feelings for someone else when he has been with you for a long time is abnormal so he could merely be trying to provoke feelings of jealousy in you.
Rebound relationships rarely last beyond the six week period, sometimes more. You need to use this time wisely to prepare yourself for reinserting yourself back into your ex boyfriend’s life and making him see you as a more attractive option. Remember that nothing is final. Just because your ex boyfriend has a new girlfriend, it does not mean that the doors are completely shut for you. You may think that you can do little about it now, but working on yourself is one of the most effective things that you can be doing in the background.
More Good News – You And Him Still Share Close Bonds
When you break up with someone your feelings for that person just don’t disappear overnight. Even if your relationship was complicated and cheating was involved, your ex will still feel something for you. It would be unnatural that they could turn their emotions off like a tap. These emotional bonds will be even more intense if your boyfriend and you have broken up recently. The feelings will still be fresh and intact and will float to the surface every so often, no matter how much your ex boyfriend tries to block them out. Even if he is consciously trying to get over you with someone else, he will know that he can’t keep up the pretense for long. Feelings don’t just go away, no matter how much you will them to.
The positive news here is that you can use these existing feelings of attachment to your advantage later on down the line. You just have to be patient and allow your ex boyfriend to come to the realisation on his own. The more time goes on, the more he will compare you to his new girlfriend. No matter how strained and volatile your relationship with him was at the end, as time progresses you will ultimately forget about the bad times and reminisce about all of the blissful memories that you shared. This is good news! People start to miss each other and see each other in a more positive light than before. This is the stage where it becomes REALLY easy to get your ex boyfriend back.
Does Staying Friends With Him Make It Easier To Get Him Back?
The short answer is no, especially in this difficult situation. You will quickly see yourself becoming part of some sordid love triangle that it will be impossible to extricate yourself from. You also have to consider the possibility that you have to witness his blossoming relationship up close and give him advice on his love life, all the while biting your lip and wishing him well. Do you think that you are strong enough to withstand this constant awkwardness and hurt?
Some girls in your position mistakenly think that by staying friends with their ex boyfriend, they will be able to eventually convince him that they still have feelings for them and get them back. In fact, research has proven that being friends with your ex boyfriend can actually be counterproductive in getting them back. This is due in part to your ex boyfriend starting to see you as nothing more than a friend. You will slip into this new comfort zone that will prove very difficult to get out of.
There may also be times that your ex boyfriend is giving you mixed signals, he wants to keep you in his life as a friend and may even be flirting with you. In this scenario you are forced to sit on the sidelines and wait until he makes up his mind about what he really wants. He will have it all his own way. He knows that you are still there should his new relationship crumble and fail. You hope against hope that this will happen, but in the process he will lose respect and desire for you because you are weak and don’t know your own self worth. To really have an impact on your ex you should make him realise what he is missing by not agreeing to have a friendship with him. To really miss you and realise how much you mean to him, you have to remove yourself from his life, at least temporarily.
Sitting around whilst your ex boyfriend gets on with his life with someone else is going to be soul destroying for you. It will also make you look needy and desperate and someone who is content to gather up the crumbs of a pretend relationship rather than having the real thing. Your ex boyfriend should never see you waiting around for him whilst he explores other options. This will make him think that he can get away with whatever he wants, treat you badly and date other girls whenever he likes. When he loses respect for you there is very little chance that you will win him back.
The sad truth is that you cannot remain friends with your ex boyfriend, especially when they have a new girlfriend. You are just opening up a whole can of worms that will be very messy and awkward for all three of you. This essentially means that you will have to fight the urge to contact him. This also includes pokes and comments on his Facebook wall. The secret here is total detachment so that your ex boyfriend starts to miss you. When you are not there he will be forced to think about you and reminisce over your happy times together. Even better, he will start comparing his new girlfriend to you and she will not be able to compete with all of the memories and bonds that you share together.
What you should do is tell him that you can’t have a fake friendship with him when you want more. Be mature about it and wish him the best with his new girlfriend. This way you will look calm and reasonable and he will be forced to make the next move and figure out what he really wants. It will also save you so much hurt and pain. Imagine how awkward and upset you will feel every time you see them together? Even worse, you will have to pretend to accept her and be her friend. It is just not worth all this hassle. You deserve better.
Step 1 – Accept His New Relationship and Disappear
The fact that your ex boyfriend has a new girlfriend doesn’t mean half as much as you think it does. It doesn’t necessarily mean that he loves her or that they are going to end up married. Relationships end all the time, and the chances are that this one will too. How you behave in the meantime will have a huge bearing on whether or not you manage to win him back in the end. That is why it is very important to be aware of the vibes that you are giving off to your ex boyfriend in the things that you say and do. The last thing you want is for him to see you as petty and childish, slyly cunning and conjuring up ways to split them up. Who would want to get back together with someone like that? This kind of bunny boiler attitude will drive him even further into this new girl’s arms and make him relieved that you are not together anymore.
You have to be smart about your actions and think them through thoroughly. This means, no screaming, ranting and raving about how much you hate him and how he has betrayed you (even if this is how you feel). Tearing shreds out of his new girlfriend and attacking her is also a huge faux pas. If you resort to this type of behaviour your ex boyfriend will think that you have lost the plot and will try to avoid you completely.
You need to be calm and mature and approach the situation from another angle. Your ex boyfriend needs to see that you have accepted the end of your relationship and the fact that they are seeing someone else. Even if you haven’t really accepted things and are enraged about the injustice of it all, you have to appear like you are okay about it. Only then will you stand any chance of getting him back. The sooner you let go of the past, the faster you will speed up the reconciliation process and work towards a better future.
Start looking at things from his point of view. When your ex boyfriend starts to date again he will be looking at you very closely to see how you are reacting to it. If you act like it is the end of the world your ex boyfriend is going to remember this. If you let your negative behaviour spiral out of control then he will soon want to avoid you and see you as unhinged. If you start to interfere with his new relationship he will resent you too. Meddling will only drive the two of you further apart and reinforce in his mind that he is with the right person.
When you hold only your cool and act in a mature manner, your ex boyfriend will retain their respect for you. Let him know that you are okay with it and wish him well. This will probably surprise him and take him aback a bit. This is what you want. Leave him with a positive impression of you so that he warms towards you again and will be more likely to contact you in the future when things are not going well.
Your job is now to disappear from his line of vision and keep yourself busy. Content yourself with the fact that you cannot do anything productive now, it will take time for your ex boyfriend to realise his mistake. In the meantime you should be learning all that you can about male psychology and how to act when he is with someone new. There is so much more that you should be doing right now to make him see you romantically again and forget about his new love interest.
Step 2 – Never Bad Mouth His New Girlfriend
You will have a tendency to curse his new girlfriend and pick her apart. You will hate her. You probably have already slagged her off to family and friends. How could he want to be with her? You will study her trying to work out what she has that you haven’t. Your friends may have already joined in by slating her and telling you that you are much prettier than she is. Although this kind of behaviour is normal, you should try to avoid it if you can.
Jealousy is not a good look and it can make you very unattractive to your ex boyfriend. If he starts to see your spiteful side he will be glad that you are not together anymore. The last thing that you want is to get his back up and become defensive of her and wary of you. Once bad feeling is created it is very difficult to undo.
You also have to be careful about who you are talking to about his new girlfriend. Can you really trust your friends or are they likely to run off and gossip behind your back? You would be surprised how quickly bad news travels back to your ex boyfriend. Remember that he will be looking at you closely after he starts a new relationship. He will be watching for clues that you are unhappy about it, so don’t give him the satisfaction.
You have every right to feel wronged and hurt about his new girlfriend, but it isn’t really her fault is it? Keep your feelings about her to yourself and you will come out looking much more classy, mature and appealing than if you bitch about her. Your ex boyfriend has to trust you to be able to open up to you or want you back in the future. This will NEVER happen if you have been busy finding fault with his new girlfriend.
Step 3 – Make Him Think About Good Memories
What a lot of people in your position fail to realize is that a critical advantage is hiding in your back pocket – even if you don’t realize that it’s there. You have a secret weapon that isn’t really secret at all. You and your ex boyfriend share something very special – a past. While they may be striving to create memories with their new girlfriend, you already have one – and that’s not something that should be discounted or ignored.
If you can get them to start thinking about these positive memories even more easily than you realize. They’re still there. Their memories have not been wiped clean just because your romance is temporarily over. They’re still more than able to connect with this cache of positive memories, and if you can get them to do it correctly, they’ll start missing you in ways that they never imagined – and even start thinking about reconciliation and reconnection of their own accord.
Change is not a pleasant prospect, no matter what position you find yourself in. You know how difficult it is to acclimate to a new schedule at work or to break your routine to accommodate a new task or responsibility that you were never previously accountable for. The same is true in relationships. It doesn’t seem that way right now because your ex DID take a risk by ending your relationship. Simply put, however, despite the reasons that your ex may have had for ending your relationship, they’re still more likely to pick the familiar over the new – and potentially disastrous.
Down the line, when you have accepted the breakup, you can start to reinsert yourself into his life again. The more positive contact you can have with your ex, the better. They’ll start to remember things the way that they used to be between you – not the way they were when your relationship fell apart at the end. They’ll start to wonder what could have been bad enough to split the two of you up, and they’ll start to question their own judgment in terms of ending the relationship entirely.
Being a part of your ex’s life again will also serve another, very important, purpose. You have the inside scoop – and you’re going to know exactly what’s going down in their new relationship. It may not be easy or pleasant to hear about all of the inner workings of their new romance, but it will put you in an enviable, positive position. You’ll know when the foundations of their new relationship start to crack and break down, and you’ll be in the perfect place to offer your ex boyfriend support, sympathy, understanding and a shoulder to lean on when and if things start to take a turn for the worst.
You can also use these moments to remind your ex boyfriend of your best times together. If their new relationship isn’t working out according to plan, they could probably use a friendly ear. They want to know that they can turn to you and that you can cheer them up – even when things seem shaky and tumultuous. You can sympathize and understand their pain, although you should still avoid bad-mouthing their new relationship. You don’t want to put them on edge unnecessarily, and that means that you have to embrace tact – even when it seems the hardest thing in the world to do, given your position.
While reclaiming your former place of glory in your ex’s life seems like a difficult (if not impossible) task immediately following the breakup, the concept will become easier over time. You won’t have to wonder when your ex is going to find the time to reach out to you next – they’ll be turning to you more and more. Communication will be easy again, and you must use this advantage wisely.
As your ex opens up more and more, they’ll become far more receptive to some innocent-sounding flirting and playful banter. You can’t simply suggest out of the blue that the two of you should forge ahead and rebuild a relationship. Your ex needs to come to this realization gradually and on their own time – and it will come. Patience can be the hardest virtue to fully grasp, but it will produce encouraging fruit if you’re simply willing to wait for what you want until the opportune moment finally arrives.
Reawakening your ex’s prior feelings for you is not enough. They need to realize that they stand to lose these feelings all over again, even though they’ve just begun to realize them again. While they enjoyed every freedom that comes with being single until they landed in a new relationship, they never stopped to realize that you have the exact same freedom that they had. You’re free to move on and date someone new if you choose to – and when they start recognizing the fear that they may lose you for good, they’ll have to act or they may have to watch you walk right out of their lives permanently.
Your Next Steps – Making Him Want You Again
Once you have laid all of the groundwork and know that getting him back is what you want, you have to make him want you again. He will never break up with his new girlfriend unless he starts to feel desire and longing for you again. This is more than possible if you follow the correct techniques at the right time. It is a sensitive situation that you have to handle properly in order to build his attraction towards you again.
There is a system that will teach you how to handle guys in order to make them crave you and realise that it is you that they want to be with. You want your ex boyfriend to realise his mistake and fight to get you back, rather than you having to do all of the chasing. Brad Browning’s Ex Factor System will teach you how to reignite that old spark between you both and make you seem like the only option for him. Browning will take you through what you should be doing, step by step, to get back your ex boyfriend’s attention, make you avoid common mistakes with him and speed up the whole getting back together process. Best of all it is from a guy’s perspective. You will learn all about male psychology and what makes them tick. To find out more about the system and see how it could help you, click here to watch the free video.
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Learning that your ex boyfriend is in a new relationship is a challenging time for any girl. All these negative thoughts go running through your head and you are left at a loss as to why he has moved on so quickly. You will be feeling dejected and at a low ebb after a break up, this can be made all the worse when your ex boyfriend has found himself a new girlfriend and seems to be in love with her.
Of course you want to know if he loves her and if he has any feelings at all left for you. This is only natural. It can largely depend on when you broke up with him. Everyone moves on at different stages and this is why it can be confusing for you if you are still heartbroken.
You may have seen him with his new girlfriend and noticed how happy they are. Do not worry yet, the honeymoon phase is magical for any couple, but this does not mean that it will last. If your ex boyfriend has jumped into a new relationship soon after your break up, you can bet your life that he is doing it to either forget about you or prove something to himself. His heart may not be in it at all and the relationship could fall apart just as quickly as it started.
Rebound relationships typically do not last more than the eight week period. It usually takes this amount of time for your ex boyfriend to realise that she is not the girl for him and that he has tried to move on too quickly. Dating again can be a good distraction from having to deal with your real feelings, especially for boys. It is very common for men to seek solace in another girl and pretend that everything is alright.
I hope now that you realise that you have every chance of winning back his love when you see that the foundations of his new relationship are very precarious. If you sit tight and have some patience he will probably be coming back to you sooner than you think, and the best part of it is that you do not have to any work at all, only control yourself.
This is important for you as it will mean the difference between winning him back and losing him forever. You must control your anger and jealousy when you find out about his new relationship. The last thing that you want to do is make him think that you are a pety and childish girl.
Obviously it is not always as easy as this and it can be difficult for you to wait it out. There are more things that you can do to speed up the whole process of attracting him back and making him realise that he made a mistake in getting into a new relationship. It is all about understanding the male psyche and what way they react to certain things. Learn all about them before it is too late.
This ebook and video course download will teach you everything that you need to know about getting your ex boyfriend back, even if they seem to have moved on with another girl. Brad Browning will talk you through every scenario and give you expert tips on what you should be doing to attract him back to you. The course uses the secrets of the make psyche to help you to understand what he thinks about you after the break up, what would make you attractive to him again and strategies to make him miss you. It is a lot more in depth than this of course. If you want to find out more about the system you should head over to their website here: Ex Factor System
Need More Help?
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Getting expert advice about precisely how to get your ex back can help hugely. Most people have experienced the pain of a broken relationship at one time or another; it can be agonizing, I know, especially when there’s another girl in the picture. Nothing can compare to the feelings of pain, anger jealousy, sorrow, guilt, that follow a break-up; unfortunately I’ve experienced them all. But don’t worry; Statistics say that 90% of broken relationships can be restored so lets make an effort to make yours one of the 90%.
Don’t just jump into this blindly, you may only have one opportunity to win your ex back, and there is a right and a wrong way to approach the problem so take some expert advice and that way you’ll make sure you never make any foolish mistakes.
Shouting, sobbing and calling your ex names may seem the right thing to do at the time, but resist the urge, wait until you’ve quietened down and had time to reflect. Don’t visit him crying and pleading either, this is foolish; where’s your pride? The last thing you want is him to take you back out of sheer pity; what a miserable relationship that would result in! Hold your head up, be mature about things, pay attention to some good advice and you should double your success rate
When you’ve quietened down and have a clear head, you need to let him go, Yes I am aware it’s hard but it’s part of the plan; give him some space, stay out of his way for a little while. The first thing you mustn’t do is pester him all the time by text or even telephone or by following him every where he goes.. That will just make him believe that you’re desperate or needy which is highly unattractive.
What ever you do, never talk negatively about your ex or his new girlfriend behind his back; not to anyone, it will get back to him, that’s for sure, and you wouldn’t like to make him defensive towards his new girlfriend. Even though it might seem counter intuitive, be supportive of his new relationship and hide the fact that you may perhaps be feeling insecure or jealous.
After the dust has settled, you have to start making friends again. Keep it on a friendship only basis and work on him until you have his trust back. Gradually he’ll start to see you as his closest friend and confidante, this is just what you’re aiming for. Again resist all temptation to criticize his new girlfriend, in fact if he discusses her at all, you have to remain completely neutral. Once his new relationship begins to deteriorate, you’ll be the one he turns to.
Another part of getting your ex back is to pay attention to yourself; are you still the woman he fell in love with and if not Why? You must be able to remember exactly what it was your ex loved about you when you first met; was it how you looked or your sassy confidence perhaps? If you have lost these things you have to figure out how to get them back and how to become irresistible to him again.
If you honestly think your man and you are intended to be together you just can’t leave things to chance. If you make a slip-up now, you may never be able to put things right; you really must take some expert advice.
Need More Help?
Scroll to the bottom of the page and leave a comment. I will do my best to get back to you with help and advice!